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Jewish World Review Jan. 26, 2004 / 3 Shevat 5764

Steve Young

Steve Young
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"All Dean Speech All The Time": Dean Speech 24/7...America Can’t Seem To Get Its Fill | Michael Ramirez, the conservative editorial cartoonist whose work appears in JWR, allotted three, count 'em, three, different days in one week to cartoons alluding to Howard Dean's Iowa post-caucus, cheerleading, concession speech.

Every radio talk show, political and otherwise, continue to replay The Speech in part or its entirety, ad infinitum. Radio teasers containing the replay fill the airwaves. There isn't even a hint of originality. Just replay it, then mock it.

Every late night television talk show continues to dedicate the opening monologue to jokes about The Speech.

A week after and the day before the New Hampshire primary all the Sunday morning political pundit television shows continue to make The Speech a chief issue for discussion and ridicule.

A hip-hop dance remix has rhapsodized The Speech.

A Howard Dean talking doll, speaks The Speech, including closing whoop.

There's even word of high school coaches playing The Speech in the locker room of teams that are behind at the half.

Dr. Howard Dean could come up with cures of cancer, Aids and acne on the same day and his obituary would still open with, "The crazy guy who yelled that speech in Iowa..."

Since there has been no public outcry to "please stop the madness of replaying the madness," that I know of (other than in my little cubicle of the world), obviously Dean's mishap has inadvertently tapped into something that works.

With an obvious public thirst for replay after replay after replay of Dean's speech, marketing moguls - if they're not having meetings on it already - should be burning the midnight oil finding ways to benefit from what could be an economic windfall for the their companies AND the country. In fact, we as a nation would be derelict - mad? - not to take full advantage.

Not one to deprive our country of a full economic recovery, here are some ideas that could make the Dean speech profitable for us all.

Twenty-four hour All Dean Speech All The Time cable television network No need to channel surf searching for that next replay of The Speech. Viewers can tune into The Speech whenever the urge arises along with ad infinitum analysis and late-breaking news related to The Speech For those who can't wait the ten or fifteen minutes between Speech replays, the commercial-free All Dean Speech All The Time 2 will carry repeats of The Speech without any subsequent interruption.

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Where Were You When He Yelled The Speech? A compelling book presenting a running timeline of each word in The Speech as well as eloquent accounts of personal stories chronicling the shared experience and remembrances Dr. Dean's speech by many well-known Americans. Be sure not to skip Billy Dee Williams' heart-tugging reflections of how Dean's words provoked fifth-grade memories of not only the states' names but also, names of many of the state capitals. Moving.

Clear Channel Dean Speech Radio Network. Hate those long diatribes by Sean Hannity where he breaks into replays of The Speech to pitch his most recent book and tour stops to sell his book? Well, now Clear Channel puts it's money where Dean's mouth is. Conservative host Michael Savage incessantly lambasts every word of The Speech and then does it over again.

I Have A Scream - Maya Angelou offers an inspiring collection of soliloquies celebrating The Speech. The poet queen's lilting words touch each of us as emphatically as The Speech hurt our ears. Angelou's I Know Why The Caged Candidate Yells.

As the songbird sings when it has naught to say,
so does the candidate scream when he has naught to lose.
But lose he does, in such a way,
That the songbird's ears are shorn away.

The Wheels on the Bus Come Off Come Off and other children's songs and stories of Governor Dean's speech and self-destructing campaign from Regenry Press.

The Speech...The Movie. Words, Whoops and Rolled up Sleeves Go Wild! Oliver Stone's fictional account, bathed in a bit of fact, on how The Speech actually went down.

Ben & Jerry's Dean Speech Flavor of the Month. Double Espresso spiked with jalapenos and Cayenne pepper American Speech Idol - Aspiring presidential candidates from across the country invade Iowa to simulate The Speech and spend more than any of the other competitors for a chance to come in third place.

And if you still haven't heard enough of The Speech, America, don't worry, because Howard Dean is bringing it to you personally on the campaign trail, whether you're in NEW HAMPSHIRE! Or OHIO!! Or CALIFORNIA!!! Or TEXAS!!!! Or NORTH DAKOTA...

JWR contributor Steve Young, Prism Award winner and Humanitas Prize nominee for his television writing, is film correspondent for BBC radio. He is the author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful: Mistakes, Adversity, Failure and Other Stepping Stones to Success," "The 130 Tales of Winchell Mink," Harper Collins (Winter, 2003) and the director/writer of "My Dinner With Ovitz." His website is Comment by clicking here.

01/15/04: Hitlerization of American politics: Which Side Is The Real Culprit?
01/07/04: You can be part of history — buy my book and embarrass Hillary
12/22/03: 2003's Great Failures, 2004's Benefits
12/08/03: FOR CONSERVATIVES ONLY: Settle My Bet With An Absolutely Anonymous Talk Show Host
12/02/03: Will Nike Soon Be Scouting In Elementary School? In Utero?
11/24/03: Where were you? New JFK Book Illustrates That Celebrity Doesn't Protect One From Our National Pain
11/11/03: Pride more precious than lives?: Sean Hannity is the right man to reverse the maddening trend
11/06/03: Everyone will be disappointed with "Saving Jessica Lynch" — except the audience
10/27/03: First It Was Reagan, Now There's A Possibility It's Lynch: Is Hollywood Determined To Turn Out Their Own Truth?
10/16/03: This ‘flaming lib’'s wishes for Limbaugh
09/03/03: The louder the bias, the greater the audience: Interrupting Opposing Views Has Become An Art
08/12/03: Lib judges will be the ruin of civilization … At Least The Comedy Part
08/06/03: Bozo drops out : "California race too silly," says top clown
08/05/03: July 30th has come and gone
07/28/03: Buy Your Very Own Governor on eBay: Recall's On. Count Me In
07/10/03: OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT BUSH: Please Don't Make Me Put My Family Back On Ebay
07/07/03: The failure of our schools stems from our schools' failure to understand the value of failure: Profiting From an Ignored Resource Saves Money And Kids
06/23/03: AN OPEN LETTER TO AL GORE: I Pledge To Be A Great Liberal Talk Show Host
06/17/03: THE CLASS OF '03 MUST BE WILLING TO FAIL: An Unauthorized Commencement Speech
06/12/03: A lib's (maybe) last love letter to Sean Hannity
05/27/03: No popcorn refills? What's next, no stealing Sweet & Low?
05/19/03: Measuring failure of character is an uneven science: Failure May In Fact Be A+
05/16/03: Liar, liar, American Idol's on fire?
04/16/03: TAKE ME OUT OF THE BALL GAME: Politics pitched at national pastime and baseball strikes out
04/11/03: Goodbye Shecky Al-Sahaf, We Hardly Knew Ye
04/04/03: An open letter to the right...and left
03/25/03: Should we be funny during war?
03/19/03: The 2003 Academy aWARds
03/04/03: Energy shortage vs energy profit: A Political Primer
02/28/03: Celebrities for war
02/20/03: So you want to be a liberal talk show host
02/18/03: The Sting, Part II: Osama turns himself in
02/10/03: Michael Jackson threat level raised to "orange"
01/23/03: Can we really blame HBO for terrorism?
01/09/03: You can buy your very own family...on eBay
01/02/03: A look back at a sorry but pretty funny year
12/30/02: Using 2002’s failures to make a successful 2003
12/20/02: McCartney Credit Reverse Sets A Dangerous Precedent
12/18/02: Radio talk takes a surprise hit
12/16/02: Apologies running rampant: The country is in a sorry state
12/13/02: Lott apologizes for his apologies
11/26/02: Finding the McTunity within their McFailure
11/15/02: Can the Dems learn from Lincoln's failures?
11/06/02: The Day After... who'll comfort me now?
11/04/02: We can all fight ageism!
10/29/02: Was I totally responsible for the market's upsurge?
10/09/02: Finding The Bull Within: Wall Street Needs To Rethink The "F" Word
10/01/02: Merriam-Webster Needs To Rethink the "F" word
09/25/02: Held up in the passing lane ... and life's other positive curve balls
09/23/02: Shrinking the waist problem: Using Good Old American Failure To Lose Inches
09/17/02: Earth to Florida: No more elections
09/11/02: The humor will return. Just not yet
09/09/02: Bush coalition on fast track
08/30/02: N'Sync's Bass gets NASA okay: Former astronauts Gagarin and Glenn form boy band
08/21/02: Insider's a good thing
08/05/02: America goes Madison Ave.: The Selling of America
07/29/02: ROCKIN' RENO: The Newest Political Strategy For Filling The Coffers
07/23/02: Is Wall Street the enemy? No, but that's where the enemy hides
07/10/02: Cooking the books
06/27/02: Apocalypse now!?
06/14/02: Coulter for the defense?
05/21/02: SUICIDE BOMBER KILLS SELF! NO ONE ELSE INJURED! Inept bomber is refused entrance into Paradise. 72 Virgins breathe sigh of relief
05/19/02: Hey world! How about trying the shoe on the other foot hypotheses
05/13/02: AM Radio and Enron
05/03/02: "Deep Throat" to Be Revealed ... But will America Swallow It!?
04/29/02: Britney Spears next in line to blast off into orbit
04/22/02: Former Liberal Seeks Conservative Book Deal
04/15/02: If you truly care about America, you'll read this column
04/01/02: My Uncle Miltie
03/27/02: The Fightin' Righties
03/20/02: Woody Allen refuses to cast self...
03/18/02: The Realies
02/19/02: Greenspan Announces Lower (Television Network) Interest Rates
02/15/02: Ken Lay sells soul to the devil: Beelzebub loses life's savings
02/12/02: Enron's Skilling mistakenly takes the Fourth, forcing him to spill his guts
02/06/02: BOOSTING THE SAGGING ECONOMY: Let Green Stamps be our financial brassiere
01/24/02: "I'M THE ONE!"
01/16/02: Goodbye "Rincoln Continental," we hardry knew ye
01/14/02: "But He Was Such A Good Boy" gene, found to be defective
01/04/02: PLAY BUZKASHI!
12/31/01: Come on war. You can do better!
12/26/01: NOT MY OSAMA!
12/24/01: TIME caves
12/20/01: Finally! Friends of Color
12/14/01: Bin Laden's Funniest Home Videos
12/10/01: What if Catching bin Laden is in dispute?
11/30/01: Back to normal...too bad
11/16/01: Osama not enough for some
11/09/01: Networks at war!
11/05/01: Bridges Over Troubled Water
10/29/01: The other terrorists
10/16/01: Diary Of A Young Defense Department Comedy Writer
10/01/01: Playlands, burgers, and family sanity
09/25/01: Dissent is walking on red, white and blue egg shells
09/21/01: OPEN LETTER THE MOST HIGH (RE: Falwell and Robertson comments)
09/17/01: Gary, we miss ya
09/10/01: Smelling out a real hero
09/04/01: Don't give up on that dream!
08/24/01: Pitch day at the Mouse
08/21/01: It Depends On What Your Definition Of "Unlimited" Is


© 2002, Steve Young