Jewish World Review Dec. 13, 2002 / 8 Teves 5763
Lott apologizes for his apologies
The outrage in both Democratic and Republican circles over Trent Lott's round of apologies for his "Strom Thurmond
shoulda been president" comments apologies, reached fever pitch today.
After his first apology which said that he was "...only trying to make the old man feel good," which he apologized for with "I'm
sorry if I offended anyone," which he followed with the apology, "What I meant to say was that if Lester Maddox had been
elected president in '48 we wouldn't have the problems we have today," he issued another apology which read, "For Christ's
sake, I was telling a freakin' joke. Doesn't anyone buy Bob Novak anymore." Even his barbershop quartet rendition of
McCartney's, "I'm so sorry, Uncle Albert," failed to stem the tide from his side of the aisle. The New York Times' William
Safire wrote, that "The Uncle Albert intone was a clear sign of a pusillanimous tip of the apology hat to Al Gore."
In an attempt to stem the rising tide demanding that he not take the Majority Leader's post, Senator Lott's office issued
another release: "For those of you I may offended by my apology, I apologize. And in case that's not good enough, I
apologize for that." Unfortunately, in what might be called the biggest faux pas to date, Lott's sec'y didn't realize the Senator
had finished dictating his apology's apology causing the statement to close with, "That oughta keep them Negro lovin'
sum-of-a-bitches quiet for a few minutes."
Jessie Jackson, who once again apologized for his "New York is hymie town" remarks, said, "Mr. Lott's apologizing for his
apology is so egregious, I can't even rhyme it."
In another possible political birthday comment firestorm, at a party for Al Gore, Hillary Clinton said "...if Al Gore had been
elected in '00, we wouldn't have the problems we have today." Clinton's office immediately offered an explanation saying,
The Senator had too much to drink. What she meant to say was, "If I were elected President...I."
JWR contributor Steve Young, Prism Award winner and Humanitas Prize nominee for his
television writing, is contributing editor at the Writers Guild of
America's "Written By" magazine. He is the author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful: Mistakes, Adversity, Failure and
Other Stepping Stones to Success," . the director/writer of "My Dinner With Ovitz," and opens car doors
for students at his very young kids' school.
His website is www.greatfailure.com.
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© 2002, Steve Young