Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review Sept. 23, 2002 / 17 Tishrei 5763

Steve Young

Steve Young
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
MUGGER
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports


Shrinking the waist problem



Using Good Old American Failure To Lose Inches


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | It's time we admit it. Quick fixes don't...fix. Lower fat french fries at McDonalds won't take off the inches. Slimming down at Subway? C'mon. Exercise? Overrated, thank Heaven. Ab slimmer/hardeners? Looking at the commercials...great. But actually working for us? Puh-lease. And a new study by the Federal Trade Commission says that all those quickie-weight-loss commercials are as phoney as a, well, most commercials. Nothing really seems to work. Why? Because, as very expensive therapists will tell you, if we ever want to look better and feel healthier, it's never about dieting and exercise. It's about attitude. The better we feel, the less the necessity for food to fill up that empty place. If we feel good about who we are today, we will be more excited about changing our tomorrows. We need a place to start, but how do we feel good about ourselves in the middle of feeling lousy? Especially when everything we have done to date hasn't seemed to work? The answer is: A NEW PERSPECTIVE.

In my book, "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful: Mistakes, Adversity, Failure and Other Stepping Stones to Success", icons from many different fields tell how they took failures and turned them into extraordinary positives. When Norm Pattiz was fired from a sales job where he dealt with television syndication, he was left broke and disheartened. But instead of accepting defeat, he found a new angle. He took the knowledge he had accumulated from his failure and applied it to a different arena, creating an entirely new business...radio syndication. Today, Norm Pattiz, the mastermind behind the unparalleled success of Westwood One is known by many as the Father of Radio Syndication.

Steve's book has just
been released!
Sales help fund JWR.
(See order info in bio below)

I submit: Within every problem lies the resolution to the problem. So, budding entrepreneurs, listen up. Here is an opportunity for those who have failed to keep off the pounds to throw away all those quickie-weight loss plans and create something new from what you have learned from your own diet failures. You can help us feel good about ourselves so that the inches will just melt away, and you might become the Father (or Mother) of Weight-Loss Syndication.

Here's some starter ideas for weight-loss businesses success drawn from my own weight-challenged problems:

1. PROBLEM: I hate the large sizes I had to wear . NEW BUSINESS: Manufacturer Measurement Modification.

Dresses, pants, belts. Not too much. You don't want to make it obvious. People are overweight, not idiots. We're just looking for a way to get people started, create an incentive, to do it on their own. Tags for a 40" waist, should read "38"; a size "14" should read as "12" yet still be a wee bit loose to make people feel that with a little work, they could get down to the next size.

For those who really care about their mates, this could take a little more work. It's up to you to change the tags in your companion's clothing already in the closet. Note: It is of the upmost importance that you do not snicker when your partner gloats about how much weight they seem to be losing.

2. PROBLEM: I never like the way I look in the mirror. NEW BUSINESS: Better Mirrors.

A modicum of glass manipulation should reveal to the weight watcher a rather svelte image. Why Bloomingdales or Kmart have ignored this obvious means to selling their clothing is beyond me. So what if it distorts the suit or dress style. It's been a long time since I looked in a mirror and let fashion overshadow "Hey, this makes me look thinner!" I'd wear a black Nehru suit if it takes off the pounds.

3. PROBLEM: Scales - Yikes!: NEW BUSINESS: Scaled Back Scales. Manufacturers need to roll back the pounds indicaters about three pounds. Is that enough? Tell me a loss of three pounds doesn't start the day fabulously. We'll believe that. Any more and we'd smell a rat. A fat one. I'd say that this is one we could do ourselves but even extra weight doesn't dull our memory so much that we'd forget that we did it. Besides it's a lot easier to have others fool us than having us fool ourselves.

Why not? We've always trusted others' judgements more than our own. That's what this is all about. Doctors, hospitals and gyms (for those foolhardy enough to exercise) would need to comply on this one as there will be a few doubters who will find any weight loss dubious enough to run off to their local general practitioner to verify the unimaginable.

I encourage you to come up with solutions from your own issues, but until these businesses begin in earnest, remember two things that worked for me: Don't eat when you're hungry and NEVER weigh yourself until right after you get your hair cut.



JWR contributor Steve Young, Prism Award winner and Humanitas Prize nominee for his television writing, is contributing editor at the Writers Guild of America's "Written By" magazine. He is the author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful: Mistakes, Adversity, Failure and Other Stepping Stones to Success". His website is www.greatfailure.com. Comment by clicking here.

09/17/02: Earth to Florida: No more elections
09/11/02: The humor will return. Just not yet
09/09/02: Bush coalition on fast track
08/30/02: N'Sync's Bass gets NASA okay: Former astronauts Gagarin and Glenn form boy band
08/21/02: Insider trading...it's a good thing
08/05/02: America goes Madison Ave.: The Selling of America
07/29/02: ROCKIN' RENO: The Newest Political Strategy For Filling The Coffers
07/23/02: Is Wall Street the enemy? No, but that's where the enemy hides
07/10/02: Cooking the books
06/27/02: Apocalypse now!?
06/14/02: Coulter for the defense?
05/21/02: SUICIDE BOMBER KILLS SELF! NO ONE ELSE INJURED! Inept bomber is refused entrance into Paradise. 72 Virgins breathe sigh of relief
05/19/02: Hey world! How about trying the shoe on the other foot hypotheses
05/13/02: AM Radio and Enron
05/03/02: "Deep Throat" to Be Revealed ... But will America Swallow It!?
04/29/02: Britney Spears next in line to blast off into orbit
04/22/02: Former Liberal Seeks Conservative Book Deal
04/15/02: If you truly care about America, you'll read this column
04/01/02: My Uncle Miltie
03/27/02: The Fightin' Righties
03/20/02: Woody Allen refuses to cast self...
03/18/02: The Realies
02/19/02: Greenspan Announces Lower (Television Network) Interest Rates
02/15/02: Ken Lay sells soul to the devil: Beelzebub loses life's savings
02/12/02: Enron's Skilling mistakenly takes the Fourth, forcing him to spill his guts
02/06/02: BOOSTING THE SAGGING ECONOMY: Let Green Stamps be our financial brassiere
01/24/02: "I'M THE ONE!"
01/16/02: Goodbye "Rincoln Continental," we hardry knew ye
01/14/02: "But He Was Such A Good Boy" gene, found to be defective
01/04/02: PLAY BUZKASHI!
12/31/01: Come on war. You can do better!
12/26/01: NOT MY OSAMA!
12/24/01: TIME caves
12/20/01: Finally! Friends of Color
12/14/01: Bin Laden's Funniest Home Videos
12/10/01: What if Catching bin Laden is in dispute?
11/30/01: Back to normal...too bad
11/16/01: Osama not enough for some
11/09/01: Networks at war!
11/05/01: Bridges Over Troubled Water
10/29/01: The other terrorists
10/16/01: Diary Of A Young Defense Department Comedy Writer
10/01/01: Playlands, burgers, and family sanity
09/25/01: Dissent is walking on red, white and blue egg shells
09/21/01: OPEN LETTER THE MOST HIGH (RE: Falwell and Robertson comments)
09/17/01: Gary, we miss ya
09/10/01: Smelling out a real hero
09/04/01: Don't give up on that dream!
08/24/01: Pitch day at the Mouse
08/21/01: It Depends On What Your Definition Of "Unlimited" Is
08/06/01: IN OPEN LETTER FROM THE NEWS ORGANIZATIONS AND TALK SHOWS OF AMERICA

Up

© 2002, Steve Young