Steve Young
Grenada and 7 Eleven Add Their Backing To Iraqi Invasion
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Despite obvious politically motivated cries from the Democrats that the Bush administration's effort to put together an alliance to go to war with Iraq and Saddam Hussein is "not very happening," legions of supporters continue to jump on the war wagon.
Latest to give its unqualified support is the island of Grenada. Said one anonymous Grenada official, "Who knows what other medical schools will be attacked if we don't stop it here."
In addition, 150 7-Eleven locations have also come on board. Sexy Sec'y of State, Donald Rumsfield seemed absolutely beaming. "150 7-Elevens may seem just a blip on the world-wide radar screen, but their counter people alone represent over 250 separate nations, many of them Arab. With this type of worldwide ground swell for the President's war offensive it's not like he'll I need anybody else's approval on this one. Don't take it from, just listen to talk radio."
Notwithstanding Saudi Arabia's Prince Bandar's embarrassing rejection of the Bush plan to get rid of Saddam, which the Crenshaw, Texas White House blamed on under-barbecued Steak-umms, the administration mood remained upbeat.
Presidential spokesperson, Ari Fleischer believes the corner has been turned. "It was rough at first, with countries like Japan, Russia, France, Germany and Saudi Arabia nixing the deal, but we're rolling now." Fleischer listed East Timor, Puerto Rico, Glendale, CA and Oral Roberts University as the latest to join the fast growing coalition.
"While I think that Puerto Rico and Glendale are technically part of the United States," squinted President Bush while standing in front of a "Coalition Good, Saddam Bad" graphic, "the residents are behind us 100% and isn't that what counts when we have to make a decision to send our boys into what we call a 'y'all might not make it back' scenario,'" added the soon to be vacationing again President.
Other potential alliance members include Somalia, South Philly, the Major League Baseball Owners, most of the Backstreet
Boys and the guy who sends out all those Internet hoaxes about Bill Gates paying $250 to each person who forwards his
e-mail.
JWR contributor Steve Young, Prism Award winner and Humanitas Prize nominee for his
television writing, is contributing editor at the Writers Guild of
America's "Written By" magazine. He is the author of the forthcoming "Great Failures Of
The Extremely Successful," Tallfellow Press, 2002. His website is www.greatfailure.com.
Comment by clicking here.
08/30/02: N'Sync's Bass gets NASA okay: Former astronauts Gagarin and Glenn form boy band
08/21/02: Insider trading...it's a good thing
08/05/02: America goes Madison Ave.: The Selling of America
07/29/02: ROCKIN' RENO: The Newest Political Strategy For Filling The Coffers
07/23/02: Is Wall Street the enemy? No, but that's where the enemy hides
07/10/02: Cooking the books
06/27/02: Apocalypse now!?
06/14/02: Coulter for the defense?
05/21/02: SUICIDE BOMBER KILLS SELF! NO ONE ELSE INJURED! Inept bomber is refused entrance into Paradise. 72 Virgins breathe sigh of relief
05/19/02: Hey world! How about trying the shoe on the other foot hypotheses
05/13/02: AM Radio and Enron
05/03/02: "Deep Throat" to Be Revealed ... But will America Swallow It!?
04/29/02: Britney Spears next in line to blast off into orbit
04/22/02: Former Liberal Seeks Conservative Book Deal
04/15/02: If you truly care about America, you'll read this column
04/01/02: My Uncle Miltie
03/27/02: The Fightin' Righties
03/20/02: Woody Allen refuses to cast self...
03/18/02: The Realies
02/19/02: Greenspan Announces Lower (Television Network) Interest Rates
02/15/02: Ken Lay sells soul to the devil: Beelzebub loses life's savings
02/12/02: Enron's Skilling mistakenly takes the Fourth, forcing him to spill his guts
02/06/02: BOOSTING THE SAGGING ECONOMY: Let Green Stamps be our financial brassiere
01/24/02: "I'M THE ONE!"
01/16/02: Goodbye "Rincoln Continental," we hardry knew ye
01/14/02: "But He Was Such A Good Boy" gene, found to be defective
01/04/02: PLAY BUZKASHI!
12/31/01: Come on war. You can do better!
12/26/01: NOT MY OSAMA!
12/24/01: TIME caves
12/20/01: Finally! Friends of Color
12/14/01: Bin Laden's Funniest Home Videos
12/10/01: What if Catching bin Laden is in dispute?
11/30/01: Back to normal...too bad
11/16/01: Osama not enough for some
11/09/01: Networks at war!
11/05/01: Bridges Over Troubled Water
10/29/01: The other terrorists
10/16/01: Diary Of A Young Defense Department Comedy Writer
10/01/01: Playlands, burgers, and family sanity
09/25/01: Dissent is walking on red, white and blue egg shells
09/21/01: OPEN LETTER THE MOST HIGH (RE: Falwell and Robertson comments)
09/17/01: Gary, we miss ya
09/10/01: Smelling out a real hero
09/04/01: Don't give up on that dream!
08/24/01: Pitch day at the Mouse
08/21/01: It Depends On What Your Definition Of "Unlimited" Is
08/06/01: IN OPEN LETTER FROM THE NEWS ORGANIZATIONS AND TALK SHOWS OF AMERICA
