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Jewish World Review Jan. 24, 2002 / 11 Shevat, 5762

Steve Young

Steve Young
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Consumer Reports


"I'M THE ONE!"


An Open Letter To The People Of The United States,
re: Enron Quagmire



http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com -- Let me prosecute this one!

I am not nor have I ever been a close friend of Kenneth Lay.

I am not nor have I ever been an employee of Enron.

I am not nor have I ever been a shareholder of Enron stock.

I am not an elected official who will benefit politically from an Enron contribution.

I have never been an advisor or consultant to Enron or any of their management team.

I am not nor have I ever been an employee of Arthur Anderson Accounting.

I have not nor have I ever been audited by Arthur Anderson Accounting.

I am not nor have I ever been a billionaire.

I am not a member of Enron's board and the wife of a powerful senator who was vital in permitting Enron to receive an energy trading exemption.

I have never had a private meeting nor have been part of an energy task force that met with Vice President Dick Cheney, whether he's divulged my name or not. And in that stead I have never supported energy policies that were virtually identical to those espoused by, and would have benefited, Enron.

I have never been a New York Times economics columnist who purported to write objectively of the energy situation while not disclosing that I was a paid consultant of Enron.

I do not live in California so was not affected by the huge fuel markups from Enron and their compatriots during the fuel crisis of 01.

I am not a Republican nor am I a favorite of the Democratic Party.

Most importantly, I am not, nor have I ever been, President Of The United States.

I am the only one in all of America, perhaps in all the world, completely devoid of all possible influence and bias in the Enron case. Therefore I am the only one who can fairly adjudicate the legalities. I have nothing to gain nor do I have any reason to treat Enron or the present administration in anything other than a fair and equitable manner.

I look forward to you interest. Thank you for all consideration.

Sincerely,
A. Gore



JWR contributor Steve Young, Prism Award winner and Humanitas Prize nominee for his television writing, is contributing editor at the Writers Guild of America's "Written By" magazine. He is the author of the forthcoming "Great Failures Of The Extremely Successful," Tallfellow Press, 2002 Comment by clicking here.

01/16/02: Goodbye "Rincoln Continental," we hardry knew ye
01/14/02: "But He Was Such A Good Boy" gene, found to be defective
01/04/02: PLAY BUZKASHI!
12/31/01: Come on war. You can do better!
12/26/01: NOT MY OSAMA!
12/24/01: TIME caves
12/20/01: Finally! Friends of Color
12/14/01: Bin Laden's Funniest Home Videos
12/10/01: What if Catching bin Laden is in dispute?
11/30/01: Back to normal...too bad
11/16/01: Osama not enough for some
11/09/01: Networks at war!
11/05/01: Bridges Over Troubled Water
10/29/01: The other terrorists
10/16/01: Diary Of A Young Defense Department Comedy Writer
10/01/01: Playlands, burgers, and family sanity
09/25/01: Dissent is walking on red, white and blue egg shells
09/21/01: OPEN LETTER THE MOST HIGH (RE: Falwell and Robertson comments)
09/17/01: Gary, we miss ya
09/10/01: Smelling out a real hero
09/04/01: Don't give up on that dream!
08/24/01: Pitch day at the Mouse
08/21/01: It Depends On What Your Definition Of "Unlimited" Is
08/06/01: IN OPEN LETTER FROM THE NEWS ORGANIZATIONS AND TALK SHOWS OF AMERICA

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© 2001, Steve Young