Jewish World Review Oct. 15, 2004 / 30 Tishrei, 5765
David Grimes
Science tales from the fringe
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
When you think of great inventors, the names of Frank and Donald Smith may not be the first that leap to mind.
Yet millions of follicle-challenged men owe the Smiths a huge debt, for they have the dubious distinction of inventing -- and patenting -- the comb-over. Frank Smith and his son, Donald, both of Orlando, received U.S. patent number 4,022,227 in 1977. Frank was looking for a way to cover the balding top of his head but didn't like the idea of a toupee. So he came up with the idea of combing long strands of hair from the sides and back of his head over the top.
Frank was going to get rich by selling a hairspray to hold the comb-over in place, but, alas, he never got around to making the spray. But that is not to say that the Smiths' contribution to unattractive hairstyling has gone unnoticed. Late last month, they were awarded an Ig Nobel prize at Harvard University in the field of engineering. The Ig Nobels are handed out annually to researchers and/or inventors whose contributions to society could most charitably be described as unconventional.
Other recipients this year included the inventor of karaoke and two Auburn University researchers who did a paper on the effect of country music on suicide rates. (Oddly, no one did a paper on the effect of karaoke on suicide rates. Perhaps everyone was too despondent to even contemplate such a thing.)
One of my favorite winning entries was an examination of the "5 second rule" by high school student Jillian Clarke. The 5 second rule states that food dropped on the floor can be safely picked up and eaten if it has been in contact with the floor for 5 seconds or less. Clarke's research led to several conclusions:
People are more likely to eat dropped candy than they are dropped broccoli.
Women are more likely than men to eat dropped food.
If your floor is really scuzzy, bacteria will contaminate dropped food in less than 5 seconds.
If you have a dog in the house, chances are the dropped food will be eaten before it makes it to the floor.
Actually, I made up that last one, but I feel certain that future research will back me up.
A team of Canadian researchers won the biology award for their brave examination of the question: "Why do herring fart?"
The researchers believe they do it as a means of communication, which makes sense to me. After all, male humans send all sorts of messages this way, including:
It is time for the football game to begin.
I am in need of a fresh beer.
I wish to be alone.
I am in a good mood.
I am in a bad mood.
I am awake.
Whether herring communication reaches this level of sophistication, I can't say.
But it kind of makes you think twice about swimming in the ocean.
Appreciate this column? Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor David Grimes is a columnist for The Sarasota Herald Tribune. Comment by clicking here.
10/06/04: Movies go to the dogs
09/29/04: Talking carts spice up shopping
09/22/04: Big Bad Wolf sets the record straight
09/13/04: How not to kill a skeeter
09/09/04: 54th state? Confusion
08/30/04: Even teens can tire of TV, IHOP
08/24/04: The real story of Miss Muffet
08/17/04: Flaming Gaseous Man, away!
07/28/04: Signs say more than intended
07/21/04: Phoning in my novel
07/14/04: Turning sand into gold
07/07/04: Along came a spider and sat down beside her
06/29/04: There must be a law
06/21/04: The many hazards of TV sports
06/15/04: Computer dust causes a mighty stir
05/25/04: Guess what's coming to dinner?
05/18/04: Dogs have changed for the worse
05/11/04: You rant, you pay
05/03/04: A new generation of civility
04/27/04: Repeat at your own risk
04/19/04: Brits learn grammar from Americans
04/05/04: Got those customer survey blues
03/31/04: Name that planetoid
03/24/04: Mind-melding is not for the squeamish
03/16/04: Write that novel QUICK!
03/10/04: Turns out robots are as unhelpful as people
03/02/04: Dictators' softer side
02/23/04: Is there life after Ken?
02/18/04: California needs its chi adjusted
02/11/04: Pleeze by sum stuph frum me
02/03/04: A tale of two generations
01/28/04: Warning: Labels on products are getting wackier and wackier
01/21/04: It's a computer! No, it's a side dish! Skeptical? Look under the hood
01/07/04: Nursery rhymes to scare the kids by
12/30/03: Ear-scratcher fingered by police
12/24/03: Gifts for that not-so-special someone
12/18/03: Things we hate to do
12/09/03: Keep your name out of this book
12/03/03: When tots control the world
11/18/03: Danger: TVs falling from above
11/11/03: Songs that won't go away
11/04/03: Keep technology away from the monkeys
10/29/03: A career of sensational regrets
10/22/03: Ig Nobels reward weird science
10/16/03: TV golf needs a kick in the pants
10/08/03: That's geek to me
09/30/03: A man, a woman and a cat
09/22/03: A tale of two spams
09/16/03: Librarian action figure will be taking no guff
09/10/03: Slackers need to remain invisible
09/02/03: No fun in the summertime
08/26/03: The algebra of love
08/11/03: Journey to the center of the pavement cracks
08/06/03: Word dominance by U.S. appears a fait accompli
07/28/03: Ads that are hard to swallow
07/09/03: Keep cows out of the classroom
07/03/03: Little-appreciated facts about unshaven men
06/24/03: Brother, can you paradigm?
06/18/03: Cats, TV not a good mix
06/10/03: In defense of grumpiness
06/04/03: Do we really need keyboards in our Port-A-Johns?
05/29/03: Always a dull men's moment
05/21/03: Bad PC hygiene leads to bugs
05/12/03:Army mops up; Tony Blair doesn't
05/06/03: Grill a hamburger for PETA
05/01/03: Exams spice history
04/23/03: Too much money? Tax me more!
04/14/03: When good gourds go bad
04/11/03: One fish-tale that isn't --- and that's no lie!
04/02/03: Do you really want to know what your dog's thinking?
03/26/03: Pajamas make high school less stressful
03/21/03: It's time to be nice to the French
03/03/03: The ultimate clean and constructive sport
02/12/03: Get a bang out of cleaning with cruise vacuum
02/06/03: Voluntary kindness? Not likely
01/28/03: Signs our economy is on upswing
01/22/03: There may be cash in your old underwear
01/15/03: Banish these words, now more than ever
01/07/03: Coughing as an art form
12/24/02: Parents shell out for missed homework
12/17/02: French government says no to @ symbol
12/11/02: A latecomer joins fellowship of the DVD
12/02/02: Don't worry, be fat, unfit and really happy
11/18/02: Intrigued by a German invention that could get teens out of bed before the crack of noon
11/06/02: A noose by any other name ...
10/29/02: Iranian dogs on notice
10/22/02: Talk about a job that stinks --- literally!
10/15/02: The official world's funniest joke
10/02/02: Japanese turn eyes to computer haikus
09/27/02: Oh, no! Bosses want to know what's on your mind
09/24/02: An airbag, humanity's salvation?
09/17/02: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
09/06/02: Come listen to a story about a man named ... Bill
09/03/02: You're not in preschool anymore!
08/30/02: A charming idea from a brutal, whacked-out, megalomaniacal dictator-for-life
08/26/02: Blubber water? How to put on the pounds by gulping H20
08/21/02: The latest evidence that Mother Nature is out to kill us
08/13/02: Computers, airplanes and Canada don't mix
08/06/02: The sky's not falling? Dang it!
08/02/02: Some fond memories of worst TV shows
07/30/02: Pay my credit-card bill, please?
07/25/02: Something to celebrate
07/22/02: Baseball needs to ban the fans
07/16/02: Hasbro should consider new inaction figure
07/11/02: Decline in trash-talking is harming our mental health? Well, #@%&!
07/08/02 Americans retain right to fork tongues
07/01/02 These laws were made to be broken
06/18/02 Watching enough commercials?
06/03/02 Throwing your vote to the dogs
05/08/02
Hey, Mom, could you spare a dime?: Parents' obligations unending
© 2002, Sarasota Herald Tribune
|