Jewish World Review Oct. 15, 2002 / 9 Mar-Cheshvan, 5763

David Grimes

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The official world's funniest joke


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Those of you who favor jokes about blondes, people on deserted islands or talking dogs are in for a disappointment. The official world's funniest joke involves two hunters. It goes like this:

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. His eyes are glazed and he doesn't appear to be breathing. Frantic, his friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

"My friend is dead!" he gasps to the operator. "What should I do?"

In a calm, soothing voice, the operator says: "Calm down. Take it easy. I'll help you through this. First, let's make sure he's really dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The friend comes back on the line and says, "OK. Now what?"

Be advised that I am not the one who proclaimed this the world's funniest joke. It is a good one, I admit, but hardly up to the quality of the priest, the rabbi and the minister together on a lifeboat. Rather, the winner was chosen by a British outfit called Laughlab, described on its Web site, www.laughlab.co.uk/ as the "world's largest experiment into the psychology of humour." (I, personally, have always been amused by the way the Brits insert random "u"s into words, like "favourite" or "neighbour.") Laughlab collected more than 40,000 jokes that received almost 2 million ratings since the experiment began in September 2001. (A rather odd month to begin a humor study, if you think about it.)

To absolutely no one's surprise, the experiment revealed that men and women don't agree on what's funny and that different nationalities appreciate different kinds of jokes. The most easily amused people in the world are, oddly enough, the Germans. (Americans were the eighth most easily amused people, right between folks from Belgium and New Zealand.)

It was apparently easier to identify the worst joke in the world than the best. Even Germans could not fake a chuckle over the old chestnut about why the chicken crossed the road. (You would think the spiritual qualities of this joke would resonate with fans of the works of Hermann Hesse.)

The second-best joke in the world involves Sherlock Holmes and his companion, Watson, and was, not surprisingly, submitted by a Brit, one Geoff Anandappa of Blackpool. Here it is:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. (Don't hide the kids; it's not going to be one of those camping jokes.) After a good dinner and bottle of wine, they go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes nudges Watson awake and says, "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"Why, I see millions and millions of stars," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?" asks Holmes.

After pondering the question for a minute, Watson answers, "Well, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies out there and quite possibly millions and millions of planets like our own. It tells me that we are nothing more than an insignificant speck in the universe and that what we do here on Earth really has very little meaning in the overall scheme of things. It's quite a lonely feeling, when you think about it. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

This joke is pretty funny, I guess, but mostly it leaves me more confused than ever over why a brilliant guy like Holmes ever got mixed up with a dolt like Watson.

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JWR contributor David Grimes is a columnist for The Sarasota Herald Tribune. Comment by clicking here.

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