Jewish World Review Oct. 8, 2003 / 12 Tishrei, 5764
That's geek to me
Perhaps, while fondling your pocket protector and asking yourself what the Klingon
word is for "pathetic," you have wondered: Do I have what it takes to be a geek?
Judging by the preceding paragraph, my initial answer would be "yes indeedy," but
let us, for the sake of filling space, attempt a more scientific evaluation.
The word "geek" is derived from the Latin "geekus horribilus" meaning, literally, "he
who has seen the movie 'The Matrix' at least three times."
Geeks are not to be confused with nerds, who would have watched "The Matrix" three times but could not figure out how to
operate their VCR. The difference between a geek and a nerd is that a nerd got an "A" in physics in high school whereas a
geek got an "A" in physics in high school and could also demonstrate the proper technique of drinking milk through one's
(The operative word here is "dog," as in: Why didn't we get one of those instead of this stupid cat?)
You may be a geek if:
- The last four digits of your phone number spell G-E-E-K.
- You talk to plants to help them grow.
- You spotted an error on a Mensa test.
- You work for Microsoft.
- You have taped one or more episodes of "The X Files."
- You corner people at cocktail parties to extol the virtues of Linux.
- You fall asleep to the Weather Channel.
- You consider a Band-Aid to be a really hip fashion accessory.
- You have attended "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Alone.
- You have appeared on a late-night television show demonstrating your skill with a Rubik's cube.
- You hate it when fall arrives because they show so much football on TV.
- You can recite the date and location of the next "Star Trek" convention.
- You snort when others laugh.
- You are 40 years old and still have name tags on your underwear.
- You have hacked into another computer system and felt guilty afterward.
- You would only be too happy to explain the difference between nuclear fission and fusion.
- You tell your English teacher that her "metaphor is a bit skewed."
- You have a life-size poster of Ralph Nader in your bedroom.
- You know the difference between RAM and ROM.
- You have more e-mail addresses than pairs of shoes.
- You consider chess a sport.
- You have contributed an article to a Sno-Globe collecting publication.
- You have ever gone to a Halloween party dressed like Mr. Spock.
- It's sunny and 70 degrees outside and you're inside working on a computer.
- You have a pet named after a scientist.
- You had perfect attendance in college.
- You have ever been dumped at a "Star Trek" convention.
- You have never attempted to assemble something without first reading the instructions.
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JWR contributor David Grimes is a columnist for The Sarasota Herald Tribune. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2002, Sarasota Herald Tribune