Jewish World Review August 26, 2002 / 18 Elul, 5762
Gore travels U.S.
dressed as hobo
Honing populist image, former veep rides rails, eats beans from can
Staking out populist territory in preparation for a possible 2004 electoral rematch
with President Bush, former Vice President Al Gore is traveling the country dressed
as a hobo, his only companion a gloomy-looking dog named Scamp.
Sporting a mangy beard and a threadbare suit that calls to mind the legendary
television comedian Red Skelton, Mr. Gore's day begins at dawn, riding the rails
and stopping to eat beans from a can - and to spread his populist message.
"I am a hobo, but I am more than a hobo - I am your hobo!" roars Mr. Gore, whose
rallies across the country have drawn small crowds of baffled onlookers, many of
whom only vaguely remember who Mr. Gore is.
Wishing to draw a sharp contrast between him and the business-friendly Texan who
defeated him, Mr. Gore attempts to stir up his crowds by hoarsely shouting, "My
stocks have done even worse than yours. Vote for me!"
While some party pros give Mr. Gore credit for trying something new, others say that
his hobo status is undermined by the presence of his wife, Tipper Gore, in a
fully-loaded red Suburban cruising at two miles per hour ten paces behind Mr. Gore.
Mr. Gore's 2000 running mate, Senator Joseph Lieberman (D-CT), chose his words
carefully when asked today about Mr. Gore's quixotic new career as a lonesome
"I owe Al Gore a lot, and would never say anything to disrespect him," Senator
Lieberman said. "But that loon has flipped his lid."
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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
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© 2002, Andy Borowitz