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Jewish World Review March 2, 2001 / 6 Adar, 5761

Greg Crosby

Greg Crosby
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Consumer Reports

A Brief Statement by Al Gore
(A Fantasy Which Will Never Happen) -- Good Morning. Having now had a chance to examine the latest review of the Florida ballots conducted by the Miami Herald and USA Today, I feel compelled to make the following brief statement. I was wrong.

The results of those newspapers show, that under even the most liberal counting methods employed, that is, to include all hanging chads, dimpled chads and so forth, in the four counties in which we sought recounts, the Gore Lieberman ticket would have nevertheless lost. This conclusion substantiates an earlier finding conducted by the Palm Beach Post. Additional “overvote” and “undervote” counting will continue by the Herald and other papers, but it has become clear to me at this point, that it is time to put this thing to rest. I therefore, would like to congratulate President Bush as the indisputable winner of the highest office of the land.

My best wishes also go to Vice President Cheney and the Bush and Cheney family members. I am truly sorry to have put you all through this ordeal. The election night victory was rightfully yours and I robbed you out of it due to my personal ambition and stubbornness. That night is something you can never reclaim. I was wrong.

Most of all, I would like to offer my sincere apologies to the American people for putting them through yet another national nightmare. I make no excuses for my behavior, but as a way of explanation, let me say that having spent virtually my entire life in politics I came to believe that winning, no matter what, no matter how, was the highest virtue and the true measure of a man. I was wrong.

Before dawn on the day after Election Day I had a huge team of lawyers flown in from Nashville to Florida to do whatever necessary to stop a Bush victory there, including demanding a hand count in only the four Democratically controlled counties. I was wrong. I engaged in “the politics of personal destruction” when I agreed to wage a personal attack war on Secretary of State Katherine Harris. I was wrong.

Consulting with my advisors, I agreed to take the election into the highest courts of the state and use every legal avenue I could to turn the vote count around, including manufacturing votes on ballots that were previously discarded. I was wrong. I allowed my campaign people to take the fight into the streets with staged marches and protests led by demagogues such as Jesse Jackson and Alan Dershowitz. I was wrong. I made every attempt I could to delay and delegitimize the election of Governor Bush to President forcing the matter into the Federal Supreme Court. I was wrong.

I ask my fellow Democrats, including former President Clinton, DNC Chairman McAuliffe, and Senator Clinton to join with me in supporting our new President and working together with him to make the proper decisions for America which will benefit our people and the people of the world.

An intelligent man once wrote, “we ultimately get what we deserve.” I have gotten what I deserve. George W. Bush has gotten what he deserves. And G-d willing, the American people will get what they deserve -- a good and decent leader who puts his country ahead of his own ambition, personal fortunes, and self-aggrandizement. I wish him well.

G-d bless President Bush. G-d bless The United States of America.

JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. You may contact him by clicking here.


02/23/01: President Bush Q & A Exclusive
02/13/01: Pregnant and in your face
02/05/01: Let 'em know
01/30/01: One Final Trashing
01/26/01: Don't look in the mirror
01/19/01: He Got It His Way
01/12/01: Be cool ... be very cool
01/05/01: What’s Next?
12/29/00: "Hi, I'm Megan And I'll Be Your Dealer This Evening."
12/23/00: A nice old-fashioned winter
12/15/00: A holiday carol for the Fat Lady
12/08/00: Vice president Queeg
12/01/00: Here we come a-caroling
11/23/00: Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
11/17/00: Gore’s Desperation
11/10/00: It Ain't Over
11/03/00: Read this before you vote
10/27/00: Democratic Big Guns Shoot Blanks
10/20/00: Generation Duh
10/13/00: And the whiner is ...
10/06/00: The Vicious Hollywood Left
09/29/00: Pop Porn
09/22/00: Put On A Tie, Ya Bums!
09/15/00: A sneak peek at The William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library
09/08/00: The Big Mooseketeer
09/01/00: In Honor of Those Who Never Were
08/25/00: Building a Bridge to the Sixties
08/22/00: Leaks
08/18/00: Sour Grapes
08/11/00: But he’s Jewish!
08/04/00: Aint Nothin’ But A Hound Dog
07/27/00: Trick or Treat
07/21/00: Another Golden Moment In Broadcasting
07/14/00: Who eats this, ahem, 'stuff'?
07/07/00: In Your Face Advertising
06/29/00: My Home Sweet Home
06/23/00: Hairs The Thing
06/13/00: The Sweetest Sounds
06/02/00: Another Opening, Another Show
05/22/00: What's next, The Million Mutt March?
05/19/00: Hail the Conquering Hero
05/12/00: Extra! Read All About It!
05/03/00: Clinton’s Transparent Department of Duplicity and Demagoguery
04/24/00: For The Children?
04/19/00: Liars And Cowards And Bums, Oh My!
04/11/00: Gripe, Gripe, Gripe
04/05/00: Counting the Race Cards
03/30/00: Speed Bumps
03/22/00: The Eyes Have It
03/15/00: Academia and Media --- They’re Just Not Right
03/09/00: Sweat The Small Stuff -- It’s Okay
03/02/00: Actors And Other Animals
02/23/00: Campaign 2000 --- Wake Me When Its Over
02/15/00: Who Wants to be Regis Philbin?
02/08/00: Aftermath of a Tragedy
01/31/00: Ask Mr. Politically Correct Man
01/25/00: I’d Like To Thank All The Little People
01/20/00: Merger Mania
01/11/00: Just Say JA-GWAAR
01/04/00: Who Was That Masked Man? My Hero!
12/28/99: New Millennium --- New Rules
12/21/99: Bubba’s Visit From Saint Nick
12/14/99: Call Me Mister
12/08/99: So Much Going On, So Little Time
11/30/99: Sunday Afternoon
11/22/99: The Best Money Can’t Buy
11/15/99: My Peter Pan Generation
11/08/99: Fall Invasion
10/29/99: When my wife was young and Gay
10/22/99: Too Late for Dinner
10/15/99: Pondering, Musing and Supposing
10/05/99: A Message From Your Journalistic Human Interest Commentator
09/24/99: The Getting Away With It Decade
09/17/99: The Scoop of the Century
09/09/99: Important Millennium Advisory
09/03/99: Ask Mr. Politically Correct Man
08/26/99: Broadcasters, Please mind Your Manners
08/19/99: The Golden Age of Jerkdom
08/12/99: Dressing Down...and Out

© 2000, Greg Crosby