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Jewish World Review Jan. 19, 2001 / 24 Teves, 5761

Greg Crosby

Greg Crosby
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Consumer Reports

He Got It His Way -- (Sung to the tune of Frank Sinatra's "My Way")

A farewell ballad sung by William Jefferson Clinton at his final "good-bye as President" concert in Washington. The star-studded gala, an intimate gathering, was attended by one thousand of Billís closest friends.

A hush falls over the crowd of misty-eyed well-wishers as the lights dim and a lone figure steps out of the shadows and slowly walks across the boards to a stool positioned center stage directly under a spotlight. The man picks up the microphone, looks out into the sea of faces, wipes a tear from his cheek and waits for his musical cue. It starts. Lifting the mike to his lips he begins to sing.

And now
my term is done
and I must leave
the White House complex.
Iíve had
my share of fun
been serviced well
(itís really not sex.)

I spun, I conned and lied
destroyed some lives along the highway.
And more
much more than this
I got it my way.

Iíve had a few
like getting caught
telling those sex lies.
And then
I know itís true
I should have won that Nobel Peace Prize.

I polled each stand I took
each move I made along the byway
But more
much more than this
I got it my way.

Yes, there were times Iím sure you knew
when the GOP thought I was through.
they had the proof but I raised doubt,
denied it all and wore them out.
The right-wing caved
and I was saved
and got it my way.

I bombed
I did it to divert attention.
Iraq and olí Sudan
were also bombed, or need I mention?

To think I did all that
and may I say not in a shy way,
it worked
it worked for me.
I got it my way.

To prove I was brave, I made a show
dispatching troops to Kosovo.
I did my thing, was not restricted
I was impeached but not convicted.
The record shows
I got the blows
and got them myyyy waaaay.

The music swells. He gently lays the microphone down on the stool as he turns his back on his adoring public. With his head down, he casually walks toward the rear of the stage, stepping into pools of diminishing spotlights as he goes. The crowd breaks into wild applause. Reaching the back curtain, he at last turns to his fans and in one final, deliberate acknowledgment of their eternal love, he raises one arm and ... bites his lip. The audience goes ballistic.

Then, summoning all the resolve of a man dedicated to a calling larger than himself, he stares directly into the crowd and wagging his finger says, "Iíll ... back."

Fade to black. black.

JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. You may contact him by clicking here.


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11/23/00: Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
11/17/00: Goreís Desperation
11/10/00: It Ain't Over
11/03/00: Read this before you vote
10/27/00: Democratic Big Guns Shoot Blanks
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10/06/00: The Vicious Hollywood Left
09/29/00: Pop Porn
09/22/00: Put On A Tie, Ya Bums!
09/15/00: A sneak peek at The William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library
09/08/00: The Big Mooseketeer
09/01/00: In Honor of Those Who Never Were
08/25/00: Building a Bridge to the Sixties
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08/18/00: Sour Grapes
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05/03/00: Clintonís Transparent Department of Duplicity and Demagoguery
04/24/00: For The Children?
04/19/00: Liars And Cowards And Bums, Oh My!
04/11/00: Gripe, Gripe, Gripe
04/05/00: Counting the Race Cards
03/30/00: Speed Bumps
03/22/00: The Eyes Have It
03/15/00: Academia and Media --- Theyíre Just Not Right
03/09/00: Sweat The Small Stuff -- Itís Okay
03/02/00: Actors And Other Animals
02/23/00: Campaign 2000 --- Wake Me When Its Over
02/15/00: Who Wants to be Regis Philbin?
02/08/00: Aftermath of a Tragedy
01/31/00: Ask Mr. Politically Correct Man
01/25/00: Iíd Like To Thank All The Little People
01/20/00: Merger Mania
01/11/00: Just Say JA-GWAAR
01/04/00: Who Was That Masked Man? My Hero!
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08/26/99: Broadcasters, Please mind Your Manners
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08/12/99: Dressing Down...and Out

© 2000, Greg Crosby