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Jewish World Review August 25, 2000 / 24 Menachem-Av, 5760

Greg Crosby

Greg Crosby
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Consumer Reports

Building a Bridge to the Sixties -- OH, WOW, MAN! I mean, did you see the Democratic National Convention last week? It totally blew my mind, man. It was so Sixties that I thought I was trippin’ out, man. It was just unreal! Super cool! Outa site! Far out!

What was really so cool was all the demonstrations outside the Staples Center. It was sooo beautiful, man. Just like the good old days. All those people out there just doin’ their own thing! It was a real love-in -- that is until the LAPD pigs showed up and turned it into a major bummer by using police brutality against the common people! It really freaked me out. Just what is their hang-up anyway? Why can’t these uptight establishment fascists just get off our case? Those protesters weren’t doing anything wrong, they were just hangin’ loose, man. I mean, all they were saying is give peace a chance, y’know?

Inside at the convention, the speakers were saying some really, really beautiful things, too. Like Jessie saying how we’ve got to fight for racial equality, man. Can you dig it? And demanding civil rights for all people, man, not just the privileged, richest few.

Yeah! It’s time to end bigotry and segregation. Yeah! We shall overcome. Yeah! Black is beautiful! Yeah! Jessie was sayin’ stuff I hadn’t heard in thirty-five years! It was just so cool, that I wanted to yell into the television set, “I HEAR YOU, MAN! SOCK IT TO ‘EM, JESSIE! RIGHT ON!”

Then there were the Kennedys. When Caroline walked out and they played the theme from “Camelot” it just blew me away! And Teddy -- he was really far out. As a matter of fact, he was further out then I’d ever seen him. All through the days and nights of the convention, everybody kept mentioning Jack and Bobby and Martin and quoting from their famous speeches. It was a real groove, man. A natural high, y’know?

Everybody was so into getting in touch with each other’s feelings, it was really beautiful. At the end of one of the evenings, everyone swayed back and forth and started singing, “This Land is Your Land.” What a trip! I got so turned on by all of it, I started digging out all my old LPs. Bob Dylan, Buffy St. Marie, Donovan, Janis Joplin, Hendrix, The Doors, Joanie Mitchell -- I found them all. But then I remembered that I don’t own a phonograph anymore. Bummer!

I heard lots of good old phrases like “social reform,” power to the people” and “equal pay for equal jobs.” I might have even heard, “Hell, no, we won’t go” -- but if I did, I think it was probably muttered by Hillary and Bill.

In keeping with the convention’s theme, “Back to the Sixties,” Al Gore, in his acceptance speech mentioned Vietnam no less than six different times. He made it clear that going to Vietnam was not really his bag, but the reason he went was so another kid wouldn’t have to go. What a cool, guy! Al went into the military just so I wouldn’t have to. Hey, thank you, man! Al Gore was fighting for me even way back then!

There were lots of chicks at the convention, too. That’s cool. After all, women’s lib was a big part of the sixties. But there were no bra burnings this time. I guess “letting it all hang out” wasn’t part of the agenda. Or maybe Wonder Bras are just too expensive to replace. Anyway, I loved it when all the Democratic congresswomen were standing in line on stage and Hillary came out walking right down the middle. Yeah! That was truly outa sight!

But then I was bummed out when I noticed she was wearing a skirt! I mean, she hasn’t worn a skirt or dress in over a year! What a sell out, man! She should have been wearing hip-huggers, granny glasses, and sandals. And when she spoke, she was screaming. Why was she screaming? And did you see her eyes? They were open really wide and she wasn’t blinking!

Her eyes were really spooky, man! The whole thing -- it was like she was strung out on something. I hope the chick’s okay. I hate to see somebody spaced out on a bum trip, y’know.

All in all, the DNC convention was really groovy. Far out. Outa site. As to the question, will it get Al Gore elected? Well, the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. You may contact him by clicking here.


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© 2000, Greg Crosby