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Jewish World Review /September 16, 1998 / 25 Elul, 5758

Mona Charen

The national dirty joke

AMERICANS EVERYWHERE have a story about how they handled today's headlines around their children. My favorite was carried in The Washington Post last weekend. A youngster asked his mother to explain what "oral sex" was, and she replied, "I think the president was dating Monica Lewinsky even though he is married to Mrs. Clinton."

Yup. The president who championed the v-chip to keep violent and sexual imagery away from children is now a worldwide dirty joke. Concerning what is really no joke, some observations:

True, Bubba is the national dirty joke. But is he that funny?

1) President Clinton chose this humiliation. He knew it was coming and could have avoided it in many ways. (For example: He could have refrained from the behavior in the first place. He could have told the truth in the Paula Jones case. He could have resigned when it became clear that Kenneth Starr would call him before the grand jury and prove his perjury.) But he chose to put himself and his family through this because he will do anything to hold on to power. The office is worth everything to him, even when it comes at the price of shredding what little remains of his reputation and humiliating his wife and daughter.

Today, that "anything" is sending his lawyers and other spinners out to make a thoroughly circular argument. The president's lawyers argue, on the one hand, that the Starr referral is "just about sex" and therefore does not rise to the level of "high crime or misdemeanor" demanding impeachment. At the same time, and without blushing, they contend that what happened between the president and Lewinsky was not "sex" as defined in the Jones lawsuit and that accordingly, the president is not guilty of perjury.

This is such a puerile and transparently fraudulent argument that it deserves to be punished for its own sake. I would certainly punish such cheekiness in a child. If I tell my 7-year-old son not to push his baby brother down the hill in the stroller, see him do it seconds later and get the explanation "I didn't push his stroller; I pulled it," I would regard that response as insolence compounding the original offense. Who does he think he's kidding?

2) Starr had little choice but to include the salacious details in his referral. When the president had the gall to insist that his responses to Jones' lawyers were "legally accurate," Starr was forced to provide chapter and verse about the relationship.

3) Poor Monica. No innocent, she sashayed into the Oval Office with every intention of attracting the president's lecherous attention, and yet ... she is a figure of pity. She was so obviously used and manipulated by the most powerful man in the world. Was she stupid to believe his lies? Sure. But 21 is a stupid age, particularly in matters of love and sex. His conduct was simply ghastly; hers was a little pathetic. What remains of her future? Will she be a permanent dirty joke, too?

4) It is common for Clinton supporters to say that his policies have been the inverse of his personal degeneracy. Think again. Look at where feminism -- certainly a key Clinton policy -- has left the women around him.

Mrs. Clinton is reduced to what she always claimed she wasn't: just the loyal little wife. If Monica serviced him sexually, Hillary serviced him politically by providing cover. Feminists cannot escape the truth: Their devaluation of family and marriage has cost women dearly. A smart liberal like Hillary winds up as Tammy Wynette.

Monica went out into the world shorn of the protections the old morality offered young women. Before feminism joined forces with the sexual revolution, women were allowed to ask whether a gentleman's intentions were honorable. Monica found herself begging for more satisfying sex. What progress!

And let's not forget Betty Currie. A nice middle-aged lady gets to serve as facilitator for her boss' odious assignations. She is called into work on weekends just to sit at her desk while the president frolics under his. Let's hear it for Patricia Ireland!

One aspect of the Clinton mess is the light it throws on what feminism has done to our culture -- provide ample sport for male satyrs and dishonor for the women around them.