What is your family motto?

"Per Ardua." It really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

According to internet sources devoted to family crests, coats of arms and surname histories, the Tyree family motto is Latin for "through difficulties."

There's no law against owning both a kilt and a thesaurus, so the motto of my Scots ancestors can also be translated as "through adversity" or "through hardships" or "threw out the leftover sheep organ-meats pudding while cursing whatever bagpipes-for-brains chef invented such a cuisine."

When I think of the "difficulties" of generations past, I imagine a relentless stream of cholera, floods, droughts and oppression by the English crown. Certainly a far cry from what passes for difficulties today. ("What do you mean it will take more than 10 minutes to get a customized pizza delivered in heavy traffic???") Some people tossed logs; now their descendants can't toss their laundry into the hamper. ("He shoots, he…never mind.")

Yes, I merely think about the "Per Ardua" slogan because I'm too stingy to splurge on any family crest paraphernalia. Especially from the company that has the family motto "Nascitur minutatim" ("There's one born every minute").

I'll admit the image of a hand holding a dagger on the Tyree family crest is way cool, but it underscores the fact that some people cause their own hardship. ("You shouldn't have shown the MacDougals the new crest. Now they're buying a catapult.") Would it have killed one of the clans to have a crest decorated with the Keep On Truckin' guy?

What about y'all? Do you have an inspiring family motto?

I have a high degree of accuracy at guessing mottoes, especially when it happens to belong to the "Nostra materia non putet" ("Our stuff don't stink") crowd.

Sad but true, a lot of families are saddled with the motto "Aliquando haec omnia publicani erunt," which translates as "Someday all of this will be the tax collector's."

Over yonder is a family that looks like a "Luro hoc non est quod simile est" ("I swear this isn't what it looks like") crew.

Some families have stratospheric aspirations, but their more down-to-earth neighbors generally settle for "Sume unum, transi circum" ("Take one down, pass it around…")

Some mottoes offer fatherly advice, such as "Heus, non obligatus sum condiciones aeris totius viciniae praebere" (otherwise known as "Hey, I"m not obligated to provide air conditioning for the entire neighborhood").

Other mottoes are more defensive, such as "Numquam sapis cur non ut ullus ex fratribus vel sororibus videas" ("Never mind why you don't look like any of your brothers or sisters").

Where would our civility and family loyalty be without mottoes such as "Perge et nice aviam tuam; vespertilio senex in aeternum vivere non potest"? Yes, that's "Go ahead and be nice to your grandmother; the old bat can't live forever."

And an alarming number of families seem to have the motto "Suspicor te ninium bonum esse ut consobrinum tuum ducas," which translates as "I guess you think you're too good to marry your cousin."

I've had my share of difficulties over the years, so I keep "Per Ardua" in the back of my mind as I face the world.

Hard work and perseverance are the motto as I face the slings and arrows of…

Oh, no! The telemarketers have learned to use catapults!

Oblivisci perseverantiam; superstes meus tectumque non putet.

Translation: forget perseverance; my survival shelter don't stink.

(COMMENT, BELOW)

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