More pencils? More books? More teacher's dirty looks?

Is it time for the educational system to go "old school" again?

According to NBC News, concerned parents nationwide are rebelling against the heavy reliance on laptops and tablets by school districts.

These parents are championing a more balanced curriculum that still has room for pencils, paper and honest-to-goodness physical books. ("Let's make the #2 Number One again!")

So they are perceived as "walking the walk," many of the more diehard reformers organize their retro campaigns without texting, phoning or emailing like-minded individuals. Instead, they get Stinky McGuire to pass a note asking, "Do you like my plan for deemphasizing digital education? Check yes or no."

Some educators stick up for the pandemic-driven digital paradigm because it allegedly prepares students for the modern workforce. ("All in all, you're just another brick in the wall. Hey, does anybody remember that video on the theory of picking up a brick to build a wall?")

Sure, nothing helps you compete against robot workers better than a hunched back, bloodshot eyes and a flair for visiting porn sites while the teacher isn't looking.

And the companies supplying the hardware and software for a virtual learning experience are quick to tell you how efficiently students can shovel in the information with high-tech tools. The only thing more educational is eavesdropping on their corporate retreats. You'll learn to laugh maniacally all the way to the bank, in 176 languages.

Still, my sympathies lie with the crusaders trying to recalibrate and create a blending of digital and "analog" learning.

(For the sake of full disclosure, I must admit that I labored in the writing instruments industry from 1983-1998 and recently started receiving a small pension from that endeavor. If my bias in this matter provokes a strong response from you, I will fall back on a life lesson I learned in a less hectic low-tech academic setting: I'm rubber and you're glue…)

Desperately scribbling lecture notes has fallen out of favor. Handwriting a "What I Did On Summer Vacation" essay on wide-ruled paper seems quaint. Screen addiction detracts from actual rough-and-tumble playtime. And these developments have devastated the fine motor skills of youngsters. They also stir up the evolution controversy. ("Scientists say life began in a primordial soup — which looked a lot like Mikey in the back row. Can someone pour him into his seat?")

The ever-present glow from screens makes classic literature such as "Rip Van Winkle" incomprehensible to today's wired-up audience. ("How could someone sleep for 20 years when it takes me 20 years just to FALL asleep?")

Research shows that reading from physical books leads to longer attention spans and better comprehension than screen-based reading. Of course, some students will deny this. ("My Chromebook let me study the Preamble to the Constitution just fine. I still can't decide which was my favorite part: the bit about 'righty tighty, lefty loosey' or the bit about 'Love means never having to say you're sorry.'")

If a natural disaster or foreign invasion leaves America off the grid for a prolonged time, how will electronics-dependent citizens record their daily activities or communicate? Imagine the plight of school bullies! ("If I could just remember how to form an 'L' on my forehead, I'd tell you what I think of you, you loser!")

Don't dawdle about making your opinion known.

Get the lead out — and write with it!

(COMMENT, BELOW)

Previously:
• Do we expect too much from our dogs?
• Is 'hot take dating' right for you?
• Ready for a hotel on the moon?
• Should newspapers be on, you know, paper???
• Have you preserved 2025 for posterity?
• Do you overuse the word 'interesting'?
• Ready for the Grand Ole Opry's second hundred years?
• When you know you've outlived all your #@%& punchlines
• Are you making the best use of your ears?
• Promise not to blink this school year?
• Is bottomless overtime right for you?
• Are meteorologists a dying breed?
• What's your opinion of 'gentle parenting'?
• Do I know where you live?
• Rockford Files? Little House? 50 Years? Really?
• Did you remember your pets in your will?
• Is everyone always in your way?
• Is country music cool again?
• Do you talk with your hands?
• Are you and your blood pressure best buddies?
• Are you hopelessly confused about telephone etiquette?
• Should a sense of humor be mandatory for fathers
• Ready for Pat Sajak's final spin of the Wheel?
• Can the population implosion be stopped?
• Is 'value' a dirty word?Is it nice to fool mother nature?
• Is 'value' a dirty word?
• Ever have a 'work spouse'?
• Has the Pentagon shattered your faith in UFOs?
• Am I overthinking slang?
• Have you ever taken full responsibility?
• AAAAAY! Is Happy Days' really turning 50?
• Could you pass a citizenship test? really?
• Have you ever caused a scene?
• Should society slam on the brakes about this trend?
• Are you terrible at remembering names?
• Is this remnant of American culture doomed, y'all?
• Are free refills the arch-nemesis of the Golden Arches?
• How Are you in the best friend department?
• Baldness: Is not parting such sweet sorrow?
• Are you clinging to your landline phone?
• Are you distressed by distressed clothing?
• Do you have one of those paranormal pillows?
• Ready to fire up those Father's Day memories?
• Are you a drive-in theater enthusiast?
• Have you heard of after school satan clubs?
• Do you like the tradwife trend?
• Have you ever taken your business elsewhere?
• Journalism: Can't live with it, can't live without it
• Shall we sing the praises of public restrooms?
• Given up on your 2023 reading list yet?
• Cold enough for you?
• M*A*S*H, MAUDE and KUNG FU all turn 50
• Does your body hate you?
• Do Gallup poll respondents have a prayer?
• Was your grandfather a character?
• Is a platonic life partnership right for you?
• Do you hate intersections too?
• The 'Rural Purge' of 1971
• Do morning people deserve to live?
• What will Presidents' Day be like in 50 years?
• Are you and your middle name on speaking terms?
• Have you ever met a stranger?
• Do you dare take the goodness challenge??
• Commercial radio turns 100: what are your favorite memories?
• What shall we say about 50 years of home ownership?
• Do you dread opening your car trunk?
• So this is John Lennon's 80th birthday (And what have you done?)
• Come on, get happy: the Partridge Family at 50
• Come on, get happy: the Partridge Family at 50
• Who can turn the world on with her anniversary?
• Inspirational quotes: Are you for them or against them?
• Ray Bradbury: Something centenary this way comes
• 'Ban Bossy': Unintended Consequences
• Almost Here: A Translator For Dogs!
• Will Eggs Become Obsolete?
• Doctor Who: A Fiftieth Anniversary Primer
• The Martians Were Coming, The Martians Were Coming
• Are Pigs Smarter Than Dogs? And Should We Care?
• America, Let's Be #1 At Corruption
• Free College Tuition? Read The Fine Print
• Independence Day: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Typos
• Let's Have More Wrist Slap Punishments
• Father's Day: Can It Survive?