If You Get Where You're Going, You've Taken the Wrong Road

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The story isn't new. But it continues to fascinate as it becomes more relevant every day.

Three decades ago, travelers arriving at Houston's George Bush Intercontinental Airport were not happy. The walk from the jetway to the carousel took barely a minute. But they fumed over having to wait seven minutes before their luggage began to appear.

Every imaginable effort to streamline the baggage delivery system succeeded in shaving only one minute off the wait time. Then, inspiration struck and airport officials found their answer: If they couldn't accelerate the arrival of passenger luggage, they would lengthen the walk from the gate to baggage claim. Once they did, travelers stopped complaining.

Ironically, in an age of escalating convenience, directed inconvenience may be the key to happiness. But there is no paradox here. The reason is summed up by this week's addition to the Ethical Lexicon:

Liminal (lim*i*nal/ lim-uh-nl) adjective

Of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition.

Coined in 1909 by French ethnographer Arnold van Gennep, the word gained popularity in the 60s and 70s after British cultural anthropologist Victor Turner applied it to the transitional phase we now call breaking out of our comfort zone. Van Gennep explained that any rite of passage begins withseparation -- breaking free from the familiarity of the past -- and concludes with incorporation -- arrival at a changed reality. In between, we cross the threshold of liminality -- metamorphosis into a new kind of being.

The liminal state is simultaneously terrifying and exciting, frustrating and empowering, disorienting and revitalizing. It's the enlivening process of overpowering our natural complacency by reaching out toward an uncertain but aspirational future.

The benefits of liminality manifest in both modern language and timeless wisdom. We call a graduation ceremony commencement, the new beginning that emerges the moment we attain a goal. Weddings are followed by receptions, as two individuals fuse into divine oneness.

What is paradoxical is how the concluding stage of incorporation feels bittersweet, like the completion of a worthwhile project, the end of an engaging book, the finale of a beloved television series. When we don't know where we're going next, our brief elation quickly gives way to undirected and purposeless ambivalence.

The sages of ancient Judea understood this when they taught that, "You are not obligated to complete the task, but neither are you free to withdraw from it." Life presents endless opportunities for each of us to fulfill the potential with which we are created. Although virtually none of us achieve all we can, every moment offers a fresh start for us to persevere in the attempt to become all we can become.

This is the liminal mindset the Houston airport officials tapped into. We're happier walking for seven minutes than standing around for six. The illusion of meaningful progress proves far more satisfying than the sense of wasting time that might otherwise be well spent.

Connection to a worthwhile goal is what kindles within us feelings of value and self-worth. That's why those who lack purpose often seek to satisfy the liminal urge with the adrenaline rush of driving at high speeds and jumping from great heights. Others distract themselves with dopamine hits from endless scrolling or the sensual pleasure of hedonistic indulgence.

But those are poor, fleeting substitutes for the most profound rewards of life: Discovering purpose, meaning and fulfillment through the relentless pursuit of realizing our own potential. Moreover, the process of choosing our path with deliberation keeps our moral compass well-calibrated and finely tuned.

Ultimately, the most persistent enemy of ethical clarity is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change. Fear of failure.

However, retreating into our comfort zones should frighten us even more. That way lies stagnation, banality and the emptiness of unrealized dreams. Pushing ourselves to detach from the mind-numbing sameness of habit and familiarity will not bring us to the end of our journey, but to somewhere far more rewarding: The liminal mindset that accompanies the pursuit of a life well-lived.

Rabbi Yonason Goldson graduated from the University of California at Davis with a degree in English, which he put to good use by setting off hitchhiking cross-country and backpacking across Europe. He eventually arrived in Israel where he connected with his Jewish roots and spent the next nine years studying Torah, completing his rabbinic training as part of Ohr Somayach's first ordination program. After teaching yeshiva high school for 23 years in Budapest, Hungary, Atlanta, Georgia, and St. Louis, Missouri, Rabbi Goldson established himself as a professional speaker and advisor, working with business leaders to create a company culture built on ethics and trust. He has published seven books and given two TEDx Talks, is an award-winning host of two podcasts, and writes a weekly column for Fast Company Magazine. He also serves as scholar-in-residence for congregations around the country.

Previously:

• Think Twice Before You Take Advice
• Taking intellectual humility seriously
• What are we?
• Are we Pillaging our own Moral Depository?
• Why Sharp Tongues Lose the War of Words
• Good Intentions Never Prevail Over Cold Reality
• Sarcastic Wit Carries Too High a Cost
• Character, not as a bank account. Rather, an investment portfolio
• Are We Programming Ourselves Out of Existence?
• The bigger they come, the harder we try to make them fall
• How to Transform Fallacies Into Actionable Reality
• How to make life worth living --- no, REALLY!
• What Do Opposites Attract? Truth and Wisdom
• Groucho Marx and Embracing Tension
• Toward a more civil civilization
• Break Down Barriers of Thought to Build Towers of Innovation
• 'Tis the Season for Reflecting Beyond your Reflection
• Why Antisemitism Is Not Just a Jewish Problem
• The rank stupidity of 'Just let it go'
• To create a functioning, biblically-based civilization
• The difference between optimism and hope
• The Next Piece of the Puzzle Might Fill the Hole in Your Heart
• Self-Esteem Isn't Given -- It's Earned
• Remember the Past to Promote a Successful Future
• Are We Making Failure the Price of Success?
• Demoralization Is More About Culture than Feelings
• The Lesson We're Missing From the Death of Charlie Kirk
• Invest in Your Own Success by Building Up Others
• The Most Valiant Heroes Fight on a Different Battlefield
• How Pundits Came to Give Punditry a Bad Name
• The Wisdom of Knowing What You Don't Know
• Success Thrives in the Light of Purpose and Passion
• When Seeking Peace, Don't Release the Dogs of War
• Greta Thunberg Sails Toward Moral Hypocrisy
• Checking More Boxes Is Not the Solution
• Why Sometimes NOT Seeing Is MORE Believing
• A Healthy Diet for the Brain Promotes Ethical Clarity for the Mind

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