Sarcastic Wit Carries Too High a Cost

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"Two negatives produce a positive," declared the middle school math teacher, "But two positives never produce a negative."

A teenage girl in the front row rolled her eyes and sneered, "Yeah, right."

There is something deliciously satisfying about sarcasm: the facade of faux acceptance, the sneering tone, the sadistic twist of a verbal knife without saying anything overtly injurious. It's no wonder that research confirms the common perception that sarcastic people are smarter.

That correlation makes it hard to sell the argument that sarcasm may be the worst thing in the world for us. As evidence, however, we turn to this entry from the Ethical Lexicon:

Stultify (stuhl-tuh-fahy/stul*ti*fy) verb

To cause a loss of enthusiasm through ridicule, sarcasm, or embarrassment; to render absurdly or wholly futile or ineffectual, especially by degrading or frustrating means.

Displaying my quick-wittedness might reward me with the buzz of landing a good zinger and the adoration of bystanders. I might even strengthen my neural pathways and sharpen my capacity to deliver future quips. But all those benefits vanish in the next moment amidst the damage I do to my relationships and to society at large.

Sarcasm has rooted itself deeply in our culture. Late-night comics vie for audiences by trying to outdo one another in the viciousness of their putdowns. True, they make us laugh and impress us with the keenness of their jabs. But when we learn from their example, what impact do we have on our environment by indulging gratuitous malevolence? How can a culture of ethical sensitivity, mutual respect and collaborative productivity flourish when the witty perpetually stalk victims and civility constantly finds itself in the crosshairs?

The word sarcasm derives from the Greek sarkazo, to tear flesh like dogs, to speak bitterly. Hence, a cutting expression, a biting remark and gnashing one's teeth. Hardly the kind of expressions that promote a healthy workplace or convivial communities. Why would any soft-spoken interlocutor risk floating any half-developed idea if they can expect a vicious retort in response to their musings?

On the other extreme, comics have been lamenting for years that the shift toward social hypersensitivity has made it almost impossible to be funny without being accused of hate-speech. So we don't want to go overboard by eliminating humor from the workplace, either. Since laughter is unquestionably the best medicine, how can we find the funny if not at someone else's expense?

A less stultifying alternative to sarcasm is irony. Dictionary.com defines irony as exhibiting superior subtlety and wit through the structure of language. In contrast, sarcasm resorts to coarse ridicule and mockery through vocal inflection. It is particularly instructive to note that deaf people cannot recognize tonal sarcasm but have less trouble with verbal irony.

Irony is an admission of one's own limitations; sarcasm is an assertion of one's own superiority. Irony allows others to join in on the joke; sarcasm is always at someone else's expense.

As with all things, sarcasm does have its time and place. The first recorded example of sarcastic rhetoric appears in Exodus. Trapped against the sea with Pharaoh's army descending upon them, the Israelites cry out to Moses in despair: "Were there not enough graves in Egypt that you had to bring us into the desert to die?" In this case, we can excuse their stinging repartee. With a phalanx of enemy chariots bearing down on you, a little dark humor is an understandable defense mechanism.

Indeed, if sarcasm has any redeeming value, it lies in the advantage of an oblique rhetorical device over direct assertion. Done artlessly, this results in confusion or insult. But with the right delivery, we can win more buy-in by allowing colleagues the opportunity to work their own way to our conclusions rather than browbeating, pontificating, or spoon-feeding them.

A small measure of indirect cleverness may promote deeper thought and more productive contemplation by channeling the Socratic method. Replace the stultifying humor of late-night comedy with comic irony and you will likely make everyone come out smiling.

Rabbi Yonason Goldson graduated from the University of California at Davis with a degree in English, which he put to good use by setting off hitchhiking cross-country and backpacking across Europe. He eventually arrived in Israel where he connected with his Jewish roots and spent the next nine years studying Torah, completing his rabbinic training as part of Ohr Somayach's first ordination program. After teaching yeshiva high school for 23 years in Budapest, Hungary, Atlanta, Georgia, and St. Louis, Missouri, Rabbi Goldson established himself as a professional speaker and advisor, working with business leaders to create a company culture built on ethics and trust. He has published seven books and given two TEDx Talks, is an award-winning host of two podcasts, and writes a weekly column for Fast Company Magazine. He also serves as scholar-in-residence for congregations around the country.

Previously:

• Character, not as a bank account. Rather, an investment portfolio
• Are We Programming Ourselves Out of Existence?
• The bigger they come, the harder we try to make them fall
• How to Transform Fallacies Into Actionable Reality
• How to make life worth living --- no, REALLY!
• What Do Opposites Attract? Truth and Wisdom
• Groucho Marx and Embracing Tension
• Toward a more civil civilization
• Break Down Barriers of Thought to Build Towers of Innovation
• 'Tis the Season for Reflecting Beyond your Reflection
• Why Antisemitism Is Not Just a Jewish Problem
• The rank stupidity of 'Just let it go'
• To create a functioning, biblically-based civilization
• The difference between optimism and hope
• The Next Piece of the Puzzle Might Fill the Hole in Your Heart
• Self-Esteem Isn't Given -- It's Earned
• Remember the Past to Promote a Successful Future
• Are We Making Failure the Price of Success?
• Demoralization Is More About Culture than Feelings
• The Lesson We're Missing From the Death of Charlie Kirk
• Invest in Your Own Success by Building Up Others
• The Most Valiant Heroes Fight on a Different Battlefield
• How Pundits Came to Give Punditry a Bad Name
• The Wisdom of Knowing What You Don't Know
• Success Thrives in the Light of Purpose and Passion
• When Seeking Peace, Don't Release the Dogs of War
• Greta Thunberg Sails Toward Moral Hypocrisy
• Checking More Boxes Is Not the Solution
• Why Sometimes NOT Seeing Is MORE Believing
• A Healthy Diet for the Brain Promotes Ethical Clarity for the Mind

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