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Have you looked in the mirror lately? If you want to be a better person, maybe you should.
No one likes to fall short of their own expectations. According to Roy Baumeister, co-author of "Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength," finding ourselves in the presence of a mirror can encourage us to live up to our own personal standards.
Why? Because the watchful eye of our reflected image enjoins us to control our baser impulses and heed the callings of our better angels.
But does that principle still apply as mirrors go the way of chalkboards and snail mail? Do the benefits of glass and silver carry over to the virtual reflection gazing back at us from our phones and tablets?
Possibly not.
Although the old-fashioned looking glass offers an uncompromising reflection of reality, it reveals nothing beneath the surface. The inescapable truth that beauty is only skin-deep drives us to improve the quality of our inner selves.
But our world has changed. Technology that enables us to literally reconfigure our virtual appearance offers an alternative for shoring up our precarious self-esteem.
For Generation X and Boomers, a lack of familiarity with the modern communication system Snapchat, may be more of a blessing than we imagine. The platform's innovative picture messaging app allows users to augment their own image with a variety of filters, enhancing their appearance with longer eyelashes, freckles or clearer skin. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter quickly followed with similar methods of facial embroidery.
Is there really any harm in tweaking your electronic persona? Yes.
An article published by researchers from Boston University School of Medicine's Department of Dermatology nearly a decade ago described the danger of blurring the lines between reality and digital fantasy. They even gave it a name, which is this week's addition to the Ethical Lexicon:
Snapchat Dysmorphia
Surgically altering one's appearance to match a technologically augmented screen image.
Here we find contemporary culture's latest contribution to the spectrum of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Rather than merely fantasizing about being Jodie Comer or Jonathan Bailey, young people can now aspire to manufacture a more perfect version of who they already are.
In an increasingly superficial society, it's no surprise that we have trouble finding satisfaction in friends and family, in community and country, in the intangible rewards that accrue from living lives of service, integrity and quiet restraint. Overloaded by kaleidoscopic pixilation and relentless clamor, we're as incapable of appreciating life's simple pleasures as a wine novice attempting to experience the subtle complexity of a cabernet after chomping on a stick of peppermint gum.
The sages anticipated the hollowness of our culture when they warned: "Do not look at the container, but rather at what it contains; for you may find a new vessel filled with well-aged wine, or an old vessel in which there is nothing at all."
Our phones and computers provide gateways to inexhaustible knowledge and wisdom. But too often they distract us from reality, erasing the boundaries between the world as it is and the world as we wish it to be.
Without the discipline and courage to face life as it is, we inevitably lose all connection with our inner selves and the divine nobility that resides within every human heart. Rather than contemplate how we might perfect our moral character, we enlist the surgeon's knife to transform our skin and sinew into a mask of beauty that conceals the emptiness within.
It may seem harmless. But depression and hopelessness lie ahead when we discover that we cannot escape our true selves. The more beautiful the mask we choose to wear, the more persistently the spiritual longing of our souls will continue to haunt us.
As we navigate this holiday season, let us look beneath the tinsel and glitter to the real essence of joy and the true spirit of renewal. Take a hard look at your real self in a real mirror, then ponder what changes you can make on the inside that will allow your true, inner beauty to shine forth.
Rabbi Yonason Goldson graduated from the University of California at Davis with a degree in English, which he put to good use by setting off hitchhiking cross-country and backpacking across Europe. He eventually arrived in Israel where he connected with his Jewish roots and spent the next nine years studying Torah, completing his rabbinic training as part of Ohr Somayach's first ordination program. After teaching yeshiva high school for 23 years in Budapest, Hungary, Atlanta, Georgia, and St. Louis, Missouri, Rabbi Goldson established himself as a professional speaker and advisor, working with business leaders to create a company culture built on ethics and trust. He has published seven books and given two TEDx Talks, is an award-winning host of two podcasts, and writes a weekly column for Fast Company Magazine. He also serves as scholar-in-residence for congregations around the country.
Previously:
• Why Antisemitism Is Not Just a Jewish Problem
• The rank stupidity of 'Just let it go'
• To create a functioning, biblically-based civilization
• The difference between optimism and hope
• The Next Piece of the Puzzle Might Fill the Hole in Your Heart
• Self-Esteem Isn't Given -- It's Earned
• Remember the Past to Promote a Successful Future
• Are We Making Failure the Price of Success?
• Demoralization Is More About Culture than Feelings
• The Lesson We're Missing From the Death of Charlie Kirk
• Invest in Your Own Success by Building Up Others
• The Most Valiant Heroes Fight on a Different Battlefield
• How Pundits Came to Give Punditry a Bad Name
• The Wisdom of Knowing What You Don't Know
• Success Thrives in the Light of Purpose and Passion
• When Seeking Peace, Don't Release the Dogs of War
• Greta Thunberg Sails Toward Moral Hypocrisy
• Checking More Boxes Is Not the Solution
• Why Sometimes NOT Seeing Is MORE Believing
• A Healthy Diet for the Brain Promotes Ethical Clarity for the Mind
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