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Jewish World Review Oct. 26, 2001/ 9 Mar-Cheshvan, 5762
Marianne M. Jennings
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
IT was the usual Saturday morning drill of hunting down basketball jerseys that travel more than my young sons do on the court. Jerseys migrate in stealth until their Saturday game of hide and seek with their masters. I partook of MSNBC and anchor Greg Jarrett whilst the lads labored obligatorily in vain until I step in to end the hunt.
Greg asked a psychologist how to help his young children, and thereby non-anchor heritage children, through the woes and fears of anthrax. The psychologist advised parents to explain the laws of probability, to wit: they are more likely to die in an auto accident than via anthrax. I sensed a shirtless 6-year-old behind me, intrigued by shrinks on MSNBC (anything beats a jersey safari), who blurted out, "We're going to die in a car crash?"
Way to go, learned psychologist. The child couldn't even say anthrax without a lisp and was unaffected by world events, completely engrossed in skateboards and Brady Bunch reruns. Now he fears riding in the car.
The shrink's effect on my son is fairly representative of the efficacy I see in counseling. I find it difficult to keep a straight face around psychologists, counselors, shrinks, social workers and tarot cards readers (some of whom show more wisdom). Beulah the palm reader has great insight for a woman with hair the color of pickled beets.
Counseling works like this: you explain your problem, counselors talk with you as Shari Lewis spoke to Lamb Chop, and the big finale is, "Get over it. $75." The
American Psychological Association (APA) advice for dealing with an unfair boss: confront and communicate. After your confrontation, followed thereafter by termination, APA members will counsel you through post-job termination traumatic stress disorder.
Psychology states the obvious. APA advice on success at work: work hard and be pleasant! APA advice indicates b that being a Democrat helps with many illnesses. APA advice for stressed working mothers: demand government programs. For a demanding boss: unionize!
Still, there is pandemic counselitis, induced by the profession itself, which has an inherent conflict of interest. If your income depends upon folks requiring counseling, the advice, "You don't need me" is unlikely. In 1800, mental illness, one type only, required physical manifestation for diagnosis. Now there are nearly 400 disorders, including Developmental Arithmetic Disorder and Lottery Stress Disorder.
Data from counselors show us to be a nation of nuts. According to the National Mental Health Association, 54 million of us have a mental disorder, although "mental disorder" is never defined. One in five children is mentally ill at least once each year (in our household the rate is once each day) and 5% of children have "extreme functional impairment." 35% of adults have dementia; and 2% are schizophrenic. There's Chronic Tax Anxiety, Noncompliance with Treatment Disorder and not enough space to list stats that, if true, mean the US has a population of one billion.
Counselors have created a presumptive need for counseling. At Columbine, the kids had to beat off the grief counselors. Psychologists flocked to Ground Zero. The APA Website has a cut-off of 2 weeks for depression following September 11. Any longer, it says, requires treatment. Forgive me, but those who were over it in 2 weeks are the ones in need of help.
Counseling requests are up 1,000% in the New York Area since September 11. Walt Disney added crisis counselors to its cruise ships after September 11. If you are on a cruise with Goofy and Pluto and are still down, there is little a shrink can do for you.
Employers now buy into the counselitis with employee assistance programs. You and the counselor work for the same company and you share your intimate feelings, weaknesses, and scary sides with Lamb Chop for hire? My supervisor has enough to handle just from my memos and comments - he's not ready for my inner child. But ESPN in the New York area gave all its employees numbers for counselors for group or individual sessions. There are depressed sportscasters?
Get a grip, America. Counselitis is ruling us. There is very little in life a good cliché can't fix. Time heals all wounds. Don't give in to the fear. Don't let evil triumph. There's always a reason. If a cliché doesn't work, you have assumed your problems are somehow greater than those of the millions who have come before and endured more with great strength, complete sanity and no counseling.
A Phoenix area counselor returned with a report on Ground Zero and explained healing began when those affected started thinking of others: parents, friends and even pets, "I was amazed at how much pain people can absorb and still function." Exactly -- not through counseling, but the antithesis of such self-absorption - focusing on others. A cheap prescription for a healthy
10/16/01: A touch of class
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