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Jewish World Review Sept. 29, 2000/ 29 Elul, 5760
Marianne M. Jennings
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
RATHER THAN TAKE ON the postmodernist theorem that there is no absolute
truth, I ask only that we reach consensus that Pinocchio and his puppeteer,
Stromboli, i.e., Al Gore and our boy president, have pushed the envelope on
the verifiable. Somewhere in between fact and the meaning of the word "is,"
there is some room for judgmentalism on yarns.
The latest whopper of these Clinton vaudeville years was Mr. Gore's daft
statement that he was lulled to sleep as a tot with the lacey lilting lyrics
of the "Look for the union label" jingle. Such fodder comes this columnist's
way in far too generous amounts lo these many Clinton years.
You may recall
that Mrs. Clinton explained her $100,000 gain on a $1,000 commodities
investment, an investment field in which even cows lose their hides, with the
tall tale that her father read to her from the Wall Street Journal each day.
Putting aside the truth issue for a moment, could there be consensus that
Democrats had odd childhoods? These parents sound like Windsors setting
their children up for miserable marriages and English tabloid coverage.
My
parents read "Dr. Goat put on his coat and went out to make some calls" to
me. Words in the books rhymed and my parents never once mentioned call or
put options until offering their thoughts on how I might finance college. I
can't recall which lullabies my mother graced me with, but I am fairly
certain they were more along the lines of "Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral," not the
melodious "Duck and cover" civil defense ads.
Ignoring for a moment the absolute truth that Mr. Gore was 27 years old and a
reporter when the union label jingle came about in 1975, and that the thought
crossed likely voters' minds that Big Al is odd enough to have had Tipper, or
perhaps a still-present nanny, sing union ditties to him before bed, this
latest Al Gore braggadocio has analytical merit for its revelations. If the
made-up stories are this bizarre, what was his childhood really like? What
kind of personality feels the need to spout such a fabrication to a group
that will endorse him anyway?
The lullaby story offers insight into the
inner workings of the mind of the man who seeks to hold world's most powerful
position, that of renting out the Lincoln bedroom.
This is one creepy guy.
Gratuitous lies don't faze the man in the cowboy boots and earth tones. His
conduct is eerie because it is, at once, an act of defiance and one of
arrogance. Did he honestly believe no one would notice? Or does he believe
that he speaks to the terminally stupid? Or does he believe that the media
wouldn't dare call him on the story? The latter may be the reason the man
knows no fear on fabrications. One envisions New York Times editorial as
follows: "Insiders say that Mr. Gore did indeed still have a nanny when he
was 27 and that nanny came from a long line of longshoremen and textile
workers. Her aprons were cotton, U.S.-made, and heavily starched, but she
was prone to facial hair and comfortable shoes."
Hi-diddle-dee-dee, a fabricated life for me. There's a Clinton-Gore pattern
here. Gratuitous tall tales. Gore invented the Internet. Gore and Tipper
were the inspiration for Eric Segal's Love Story. Gore uncovered Love Canal
and fixed it. His sister uttered her dying anti-tobacco words to him, but he
was not even in the state. Hillary said, in a trip to New Zealand, that she
was named after Sir Edmund Hillary. Nice trick. He wasn't famous until
after he climbed Mt. Everest in 1953, and she was born in 1947. Either Mrs.
Clinton is lying or people in Chicago called her "Hey, you!" while waiting
for word from the Sherpas that Sir Edmund had conquered the summit.
Mr. Clinton's lies have not been limited to those under oath. He witnessed
churches burning in Arkansas. Ignoring for a moment the fact that no
churches were burned in Arkansas in his youth, why didn't he get a hose and
help? Why was he standing around watching fires for presidential
inspiration? There is a contagion surrounding the presidency. Tall-tale
syndrome.
Lieberman best be careful or he'll be traveling to Texas to spin
yarns about how much he enjoyed the hoedowns at the synagogue as a youth.
Folks who seek national office are often not the most stable personalities.
Remember Jimmy Carter's claim that a vicious rabbit emerged from the pond
where he was fishing and attacked him? The Secret Service helped him escape
his imagination by a hare. Is it too much to ask that leaders at least
respect voters? Is glib fabrication a desirable trait in those who are
entrusted with so much?
The recently released biography of Grover Cleveland covers Cleveland's
reaction to the impending disclosure he faced during the 1884 election about
his illegitimate child. Mr. Cleveland told his campaign manager, "Whatever
you do, tell the truth."
Today, imagining for a moment that an illegitimate child would be an issue
for a Democrat for surely such a revelation would just spawn another plank in
the health care giveaway (free birth control for all), the instructions to
the campaign manager would be, "Just make sure it polls well," or "Tell them
I sang to the child every night. Union lullabies, most of the numbers from
Rent - stuff like that, run it by the focus groups to see what plays well,
lullaby-wise."
Oh, for a fallen but honest Grover Cleveland over the
politically correct banana republic twits who lead our nation
09/22/00: Charity with strings and an agenda
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