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Jewish World Review March 1, 2001/ 6 Adar, 5761
Marianne M. Jennings
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
MERCY. Even I, a charter member of the vast right-wing conspiracy, along
with Ed Koch, Jimmy Carter, Hamilton Jordan and other repentant Democrats,
stand agape at the latest Clinton shenanigans. Those of us who thought Mr.
Clinton was spending the remaining months of his presidency working on peace
in Ireland and complete disruption of the Middle East were mistaken. Our boy
president, along with Baby Huey, Senator's Clinton's younger brother,
ne'er-do-well and crackerjack pardon attorney, had their hands full (in many
ways) with the international underworld.
Hugh Rodham is like Paulie, the hanger-on in the original Rocky. In
order to capitalize on his sister Adrian's beau's fame, Paulie has Rocky wear
a satin robe emblazoned with "Shamrock Meats, Inc." on the back. Paulie gets
the dough from the endorsement and the truly tacky graces world-class boxing.
If "Chew Mail Pouch Tobacco" were painted on the West Wing exterior walls
pursuant to a Clinton departing billboard lease deal, few would flinch.
Just when MSNBC was reduced to coverage of dogs being rescued from frozen
Chicago waters (they interviewed the fireman who operated the ice hook),
along came the post-presidency Clintons. This network thrives again with
"Pardon Watch." On Friday, Ashley the anchor drew a chart ala Tim Russert
tallying pardons and dollars.
So many thoughts, so little space and but one conclusion. The thoughts:
The National Enquirer broke the Hugh Rodham story thus losing valuable
journalistic resources needed for the Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman break-up.
The junkyard dog reporters of the Washington Post and New York Times missed
this one.
There was a great deal of quidding and an equal amount of quoing by
pros. The explanation for the Marc Rich pardon is obvious - cash. The only
explanation for the two Rodham-sponsored pardons is cash for Huey.
Hillary's campaign treasurer, William Cunningham III, must feel like a
real rube. He only got $4,000 for work that brought Huey 100 times as much.
Ambitionless chump.
Banana republics handle this kind of thing with more finesse. But the
Clintons had been emboldened by inaction in the past and felt possessed of a
perpetual get-out-of-jail free card handed to them via a failed and farcical
impeachment and trial.
Mrs. Clinton looked just lovely at her press conference. It was reminiscent
of her last such press conference involving Whitewater and a most elegant
pink St. John ensemble - a fashion statement that says "lying" to me. With
her hair finally coifed again, Mrs. Clinton tossed her husband off the boat
with Huey tied to his foot. Revenge is sweet. One understands the need for
two homes now.
Mrs. Clinton used the phrases, "I didn't know," "I had no knowledge," and
"You know," more than a group of children on the lam from a broken window.
An important safety tip on preventing the appearance of corruption: if your
unemployed brother-in-law is flush in cash while he is living with you, some
queries would be in order, particularly when the brother wheels and deals on
hazelnut import scams involving Russian toughs.
Giving back the money does not solve the problem. It is the thought that
counts when it comes to criminal mens rea.
The other shoe has not dropped. Much more will dribble out until even Lanny
Davis and Maxine Waters surrender. The Clintons will remain on the front
pages for months. However, to use our new president's jargon, I "appreciate"
these scoundrels. As they wallow in their bad judgment and worse ethics, Mr.
Bush moves like a stealth bomber on his programs. He has been blessed, not
just with an ex-president who will not leave the limelight, but also with a
pathological deviant married to Lady Macbeth. Stay with us, damned spots.
George W. Bush looks positively regal.
Now the conclusion. These pardons and accompanying scandals will be
forgotten next election cycle; Mr. Clinton will be turned loose by the
Democrats to energize the gullible base. All that is outrageous, all that is
disgraceful and all that is illegal will be dismissed by Democrats who now
join in the Clinton dissing party with minimal risk. Watch for Mr. Clinton
at the next convention in a satin robe. On the back: "Hugh's Hazelnuts -
Imported from Russia Illegally." And James Carville called Paula Jones
trailer park
02/23/00: In defense of homework
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