Clicking on banner ads keeps JWR alive
Jewish World Review Sept. 15, 2000 / 14 Elul 5760

Greg Crosby

Greg Crosby
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
MUGGER
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Debbie Schlussel
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports


A sneak peek at The William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library

http://www.jewishworldreview.com -- NEVER A MAN to miss an opportunity for fund-raising or self-aggrandizement, President Clinton took advantage of this summer’s Democratic National Convention in LA. to take care of some personal business -- hustling up bucks for his proposed Arkansas presidential library. Clinton’s on-going passion to establish a respectable presidential legacy for himself has now been manifested into what will certainly be the most expensive presidential library of any American president in history.

At a projected price of $125 million, the Clinton Library will easily out-spend the Carter, Nixon and Reagan libraries, which cost somewhere between $25 to $35 million each. Realizing just who it is we’re dealing with, it’s not at all surprising that Clinton is building a presidential library which will be bigger and more expensive than any other. In his mind he’s the best president this country has ever had (and if you don’t believe him, just ask Al Gore) so he must build a great memorial to himself, a presidential library to end all presidential libraries.

The real question is, what will be in this library? What can we expect to see when we visit the William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library/Museum/National Park and Memorial Parade Grounds in Little Rock? Perhaps one or more of the following items:

The Bill Clinton Dictionary of little known definitions -- including meanings of complicated words such as “is” and explanations for bewildering phrases such as “sexual intercourse.”

Bill’s personal record collection including the hits, “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow,” “Tomorrow” from the musical “Annie,” and “Tomorrow Belongs to Me” from “The Sound of Music.” Also his all-time favorite tune, “Thank Heaven For Little Girls.”

One broken record of Tammy Wynette’s “Stand By Your Man.”

73 copies of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass poetry books personally inscribed, “To Whom It May Concern ... With all my love, forever, Bill.”

The Bill Cllinton family bible (in mint condition - never opened)

Slightly used Saxophone with instruction book, “How to Play a Musical Instrument For All It’s Worth.”

Political psychology book, “How to Bite Your Bottom Lip, Crack Your Voice, and Feel Other’s Pain For All It’s Worth.”

Instructional book entitled, “How To Enjoy A Good Cigar Without Inhaling.”

Private collection of “Hee Haw” collectable drinking glasses from Burger King.

The Clinton Memorial Underwear Collection (divided into two categories: The Jockey Years and The Boxer Years)

Miscellaneous movie star autographs and photos including portrait of Martin Sheen signed, “From one acting prez to another -- your pal, Marty.”

Complete 12 CD collection of Barbra Streisand farewell concert performances.

Scale models of the Arkansas governor’s mansion and the White House actually built by Clintion from used McDonald Happy Meal, Krispy Kreme and Dominos Pizza boxes.

Personal notes taken during strategic policy conferences with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Collection of Monicagate apology speeches

Internal memo pads recalled because of the misprinted heading at the top, “Important Intern Memo From the President.”

Well-used “Wag The Dog” home video tape

Starbucks coffee cups and napkins left over from White House fund-raising events.

I understand that the funding committee for the library has not yet met it’s $125 million goal. So if you haven’t yet contributed your fair share to this worthwhile patriotic enterprise, there’s still time to get a check in the mail. Invest in the future of America and build a bridge to tomorrow. Support the William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library, Gas Station and Convenience Store today. Do it for the children.


JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. You may contact him by clicking here.

Up

09/08/00: The Big Mooseketeer
09/01/00: In Honor of Those Who Never Were
08/25/00: Building a Bridge to the Sixties
08/22/00: Leaks
08/18/00: Sour Grapes
08/11/00: But he’s Jewish!
08/04/00: Aint Nothin’ But A Hound Dog
07/27/00: Trick or Treat
07/21/00: Another Golden Moment In Broadcasting
07/14/00: Who eats this, ahem, 'stuff'?
07/07/00: In Your Face Advertising
06/29/00: My Home Sweet Home
06/23/00: Hairs The Thing
06/13/00: The Sweetest Sounds
06/02/00: Another Opening, Another Show
05/22/00: What's next, The Million Mutt March?
05/19/00: Hail the Conquering Hero
05/12/00: Extra! Read All About It!
05/03/00: Clinton’s Transparent Department of Duplicity and Demagoguery
04/24/00: For The Children?
04/19/00: Liars And Cowards And Bums, Oh My!
04/11/00: Gripe, Gripe, Gripe
04/05/00: Counting the Race Cards
03/30/00: Speed Bumps
03/22/00: The Eyes Have It
03/15/00: Academia and Media --- They’re Just Not Right
03/09/00: Sweat The Small Stuff -- It’s Okay
03/02/00: Actors And Other Animals
02/23/00: Campaign 2000 --- Wake Me When Its Over
02/15/00: Who Wants to be Regis Philbin?
02/08/00: Aftermath of a Tragedy
01/31/00: Ask Mr. Politically Correct Man
01/25/00: I’d Like To Thank All The Little People
01/20/00: Merger Mania
01/11/00: Just Say JA-GWAAR
01/04/00: Who Was That Masked Man? My Hero!
12/28/99: New Millennium --- New Rules
12/21/99: Bubba’s Visit From Saint Nick
12/14/99: Call Me Mister
12/08/99: So Much Going On, So Little Time
11/30/99: Sunday Afternoon
11/22/99: The Best Money Can’t Buy
11/15/99: My Peter Pan Generation
11/08/99: Fall Invasion
10/29/99: When my wife was young and Gay
10/22/99: Too Late for Dinner
10/15/99: Pondering, Musing and Supposing
10/05/99: A Message From Your Journalistic Human Interest Commentator
09/24/99: The Getting Away With It Decade
09/17/99: The Scoop of the Century
09/09/99: Important Millennium Advisory
09/03/99: Ask Mr. Politically Correct Man
08/26/99: Broadcasters, Please mind Your Manners
08/19/99: The Golden Age of Jerkdom
08/12/99: Dressing Down...and Out


© 2000, Greg Crosby