Jewish World Review April 15, 2003 / 13 Nisan, 5763
Shroud of CNN Missing from Baghdad
Among the thousands of items missing from Baghdad's antiquities museum, curators are most concerned about the so-called 'Shroud of CNN,' a white clothe which some say bears the image of CNN reporter Kevin Sites
"This is irreplaceable," said an unnamed museum staffer. "Reporters like Mr. Sites have become an integral part of the history of our nation. The story of the war is, more than anything, the story of the hardships borne by news reporters."
Some have questioned the authenticity of the shroud, but the faithful knew it was genuine. A weblog, launched to commemorate the loss of the Shroud of CNN, immediately garnered 100,000 visitors per day.
Meanwhile, the Syrian Foreign Ministry announced today that its government can do nothing to stop the flow of anti-war celebrities into Syria.
"Our borders are long, and our resources short," said foreign ministry spokeswoman Buthaina Shaaban. "Let the U.S. government keep them contained in Hollywood. It's George Bush's problem."
The apparent disappearance of formerly vocal anti-war celebrities has led some in the Bush administration to speculate that they may have fled into Iraq's friendly neighbor.
"Up until a week ago," said an unnamed White House source, "there were dozens of celebrities making the rounds of the talk shows, saying our policy was doomed. Now it seems they've fled, and Syria would be a natural hiding place."
JWR contributor Scott Ott publishes the satirical website ScrappleFace.com, whose motto is "News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher." Comment by clicking here.
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© 2003, Scott Ott