Jewish World Review April 7, 2003 / 5 Nisan, 5763
Chemical agent found at
Iraqi Information Ministry
now in the heart of Baghdad have
discovered a massive cache of the
chemical agent lysergic acid
The Iraqi Information Ministry has
been identified as the site of a
huge repository of the substance,
commonly called LSD.
"After listening to recent
statements from the Iraqi
Information Minister, we had
suspected there were large
quantities of LSD in the building,"
said an unnamed Pentagon spokesman.
Information Minister Mohammed Saeed
al-Sahaf called on the United Nations
to address the "immanent
humanitarian medical crisis."
"There is no way I can do my job
effectively without this essential
medication," said Mr. al-Sahaf.
"Without LSD, I cannot stand up
before the people and say 'Be
assured, Baghdad is safe,
protected. Iraqis are heroes.'
Mr. al-Sahaf said the 'medicine'
helps him to see Abrams tanks as
gentle lavender camels and Bradley
fighting vehicles as enormous
pansies and petunias.
JWR contributor Scott Ott publishes the satirical website ScrappleFace.com, whose motto is "News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher." Comment by clicking here.
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© 2003, Scott Ott