A patriotic fashion event raised flags, but not my spirits

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How do you celebrate America's 250th anniversary? If you're Anna Wintour, you get a bunch of fashion designers to reimagine state flags and raise them in a small, semiprivate ceremony at Rockefeller Center.

I went to the Pebble Bar for a "United Flags of Fashion" cocktail party thrown by the Council of Fashion Designers of America, Vogue, Rockefeller Center and America250 (a nonpartisan organization not to be confused with Trump's Freedom 250 organization).

I showed up at 6:07 p.m., technically late but still within reason for a fashion event. Or so I thought. As I watched designers gather for a group photo I overheard someone say, "When Anna says 6, she means 5:30." Yeesh.

It was about to rain, which meant the humidity was at roughly 110 percent, a misfortune for any outdoor party. Worse, there was little wind, leaving the flags hanging limply.

I, too, felt limp. Also tired, sticky and self-conscious. I showed up unwashed in a suitcase-wrinkled shirt dress, caked in "natural" deodorant that never really works. I made a few attempts at small talk, but I just wasn't my (normally sparkling, effervescent) self.

The twins Adam and Ryan Goldston of the athleticwear label APL graciously told me about being inspired by the University of Tennessee's colors (to see the flag, you have to scroll down after you click). I helpfully killed the mood by saying that I met an ex-boyfriend in Tennessee.

Todd Snyder, whose eponymous store was just a stone's throw away, told me that his design for Iowa featured herringbone. I said something incoherent about detasseling and he smiled politely.

I ran into Batsheva Hay, who had redesigned the Rhode Island flag with an anchor surrounded by painted roses. I mopped sweat from my brow, attempted a "joke" about how my forehead "self-lubricates" and slinked away.

I wasn't at my best, okay?? To quote Milli Vanilli, blame it on the rain.

Or blame it on the malaise of being American in the summer of 2026.

Knowing the event was about state pride, I showed up in a hat I had procured in Monroe, Wisconsin, a few summers ago. It's red and black flannel with lots of text embroidered onto it: "LIVING THE DREAM"; "INTERNATIONAL FRESH WATER FISHING CLUB"; and most prominently "BITE ME" above a fishing lure. The heavy use of typography reminded me of Off-White, the streetwear company founded by fashion visionary and University of Wisconsin alum Virgil Abloh.

I spent most of my 20s in Madison, Wisconsin. Right now, the town is grieving and roiling following the killing of Corey Ruiz by a Madison police officer last week. Ruiz was shot three times in broad daylight outside the Crystal Corner bar, a beloved dive that happened to be the last venue my band played at.

What do you do with that grief? How does one simultaneously hold the beauty of your former home and the ugliness it foments?

There were two different United Flags of Fashion designs for Wisconsin. Tanner Richie for Tanner Fletcher created a cheerful, nostalgic image of "The Duck," an amphibious vehicle that has shepherded tourists in the Wisconsin Dells since 1946. I have a vivid memory of clutching my teddy bear while riding the Duck, thrilled to be doing something I had seen on TV commercials.

The CFDA commissioned another Wisconsin flag by Milwaukee native Elena Velez. Hers was a heavier and darker concept, featuring - in her words from a verbose carousel she uploaded to Instagram on Wednesday - "milk-haired mermaids holding white-hot steel swords" flanking an "industrial castle."

It's safe to say that Elena Velez and I probably don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. At the party for Velez's "Gone With the Wind"-themed collection in 2024, Red Scare podcast co-host Anna Khachiyan gave a speech that included a tasteless crypto-joke about George Floyd. At her most recent runway show, she invited George Santos and sent Clavicular down the runway.

Velez also wrote this in her Instagram post: "When exporting the American image through culture, the contributions of the Great Midwest are at worst omitted and at best parodied. I want to celebrate the overlooked citizenry that, simply put, form the strongest fibers in our great nation's fabric."

I'm with her there.

What is the value of finding common ground with people with whom we disagree? What happens when we choose not to? Is the kitschy Tanner Fletcher Wisconsin as true as Velez's postapocalyptic vision? Where do we draw the line between compromise and standing our ground?

These were the thoughts swirling through my head as I watched Broadway stars Sam Tutty and Christiani Pitts sing a duet from "Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York)" about how great New York is.

I wasn't feeling it. It wasn't their fault. They sounded great. It wasn't the CFDA's fault. They had thrown a lovely party. Nothing felt that great in the moment.

I mean, it felt fabulous. I was, after all, outside of 30 Rock, in the company of Willy Chavarria, Vera Wang, Michael Kors, Tommy Hilfiger and Raul Lopez for crying out loud.

But "fabulous" can be value neutral. Its etymology comes from "fabula," the Latin word for "story." The United Flags of Fashion, like so many other 250th birthday celebrations for America that happened this summer, was an attempt to rewrite the story of America. Or at least edit it. It's a tall order.

As Pitts and Tutty finished their song, the rain began to fall, right on cue. We ran for the umbrellas.

ICYMI

Here's video footage of me helping Iris Van Herpen make a dress at the Brooklyn Museum.

Lots of people have been asking me when Van Herpen is going to do another event like this. The Brooklyn Museum hasn't confirmed the October date with me yet, but when it does I'll let you know!

Lil' reccos

Tim Heidecker's interview on Wired's "Uncanny Valley" podcast was great. I'm endlessly fascinated by what's going on at the Onion with its Infowars takeover. Heidecker does an incredible Alex Jones impression.

Esmé Weijun Wang's essay collection "The Collected Schizophrenias" taught me a lot about mental health (and a little about fashion!).

Last night I finally watched Peter Jackson's "Heavenly Creatures," featuring the film debuts of both Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey. I don't think I've ever seen a movie that so accurately captures the obsession and interior violence of the adolescent mind. And the 1994 special effects still hold up!

Four horsies

Big things - like the environmental impact of idle commercial ships - are "horsemen" of the apocalypse.

Little things - like the cultural impact of losing Ryan Gosling's limp wrist on the "La La Land" poster - are "horsies" of the apocalypse.

Today's four horsies:

Porn star Ty Mitchell told the Nymphowars podcast that he spotted Amy Goodman of "Democracy Now" backstage at the New York Tori Amos concert. Thus proving that life is just one big, wacky game of gay Mad Libs.

A man who claimed to see Bigfoot in Connecticut said the creature had "no boobs." Wow. Not even our cryptids can escape the heteropatriarchal gaze. 👏 DO. 👏 BETTER. 👏 SASQUATCH. 👏 HUNTER. 👏 COMMUNITY.

A woman from Essex claims that she was banned from meeting Barry Manilow because she was wearing sequins. I have the reverse policy: Strangers are allowed to approach me only if they are bedazzled, bejeweled or otherwise festooned in puffer paint and/or appliqués.

OnlyFans and the L.A.-based streetwear brand Pleasures have teamed up to sell bikinis with tire skid marks. Pump the brakes.

Shane O'Neill connects the dots between entertainment news, internet fads, celebrity gossip and pop culture ephemera to sketch a portrait of how we live today.