We are all Madonna now

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Let's be honest: Madonna has put the public through a lot. Even her biggest fans have had their patience tested. We've seen her lisp through grills, make tone-deaf proclamations about covid from her bathtub and - worst of all - try her hand at stand-up comedy.

For more than 15 years I've said that every irritating thing Madonna has done can be forgiven if you listen to every song on "The Immaculate Collection" from start to finish. Even better if you watch every music video.

But right now, there's nothing to forgive. Madonna's 15th album, "Confessions II," came out Friday. Bottom line: It's good.

This album and its rollout has been a return to form for Madonna. For the first time in a long time, she seems comfortable in her skin. For the first time ever, I feel like I can … relate to her?? Let me explain.

Madonna and Stuart Price - who produced both "Confessions" albums - have made a dance album that is moodier, murkier and spookier than the sparkly, aggressive hyperpop sound that has infiltrated dance pop.

Vocally, Madonna never breaks a sweat on "Confessions II." She's never been the greatest singer (relax, she said it herself in "Truth or Dare" and in her "VH1: Behind the Music" episode). It's nice hearing her have the confidence to hang back. If she sounds a little world-weary, well, doesn't that just match the mood of 2026? Even Madonna is tired.

Of course, it wouldn't be a Madonna album if we didn't have some pandering to the youngs. She sings about astrology in "Good for the Soul" and trauma in "One Step Away," and collaborates with the Colombian reggaeton singer-producer Feid on "Read My Lips."

On the other hand, Madonna has long been interested in woo and pop psychology, as well as Latin culture. And compared with some of her more cringe explorations of those topics in the past - telling a Vanity Fair reporter that his soul chose the sex of his baby; singing "Sigmund Freud, analyze this" with a straight face; sharing her sexual fantasies about an underage Puerto Rican boy in the "Sex" book - her antics on "Confessions II" are pretty benign.

The singles that were already released - "I Feel So Free," "Bring Your Love" and "Danceteria" - are the strongest tracks on "Confessions II." But there are many other lovely, tender songs.

Chief among them is "Fragile‚" her tribute to her late brother Christopher Ciccone, who worked as the art director for her "Blond Ambition" tour and tour director for "The Girlie Show," and who drove a wedge through their relationship with his tell-all 2008 book, "Life With My Sister Madonna."

(I can't recommend that book enough for Madonna trivia: Her favorite candy is Hot Tamales; she began drinking beer when she started dating Guy Ritchie; she used to wear fishnet stockings under her pants because she thought it was good for her muscles.)

There's also "The Test‚" a duet with Madonna's daughter Lola Leon about the strains fame put on their relationship. It's an answer to "Drowned World/Substitute for Love," the 1998 single whose music video ended with Madonna cradling a Lola stand-in in her arms.

To me, "The Test" also seemed like Madonna's version of Björk's "My Juvenile" from her 2007 album "Volta." Both are songs about a pop star reckoning with maternal missteps, both are duets, both come as subdued moments toward the end of otherwise propulsive albums. I have no idea if Madonna was consciously inspired by Björk here. If not, I quote the song "Bedtime Story" that Björk wrote for Madonna in the mid-'90s: "Let's get unconscious, honey."

Björk and Madonna have some striking similarities. They're both experts at finding genius collaborators, they're both artistically omnivorous, they've both made millions by trying on different personae and aesthetics. But Madonna has always seemed to steer her career by anticipating market forces, while Björk's artistic vision seems guided by … IDK, the textures you see on the back of your eyelids before you fall asleep?

Björk operates on instinct, Madonna on intellect.

In a 2001 Nylon Magazine interview with James Servin, Björk said she wrote "Bedtime Story" for Madonna hoping it would encourage her to be more intuitive and less logical.

That Nylon story included an incredible anecdote. Servin wrote:

"I sent a fax to Madonna via her publicist Liz Rosenberg, with the question: ‘Did singing the lyrics Björk wrote for Bedtime Story lead you in the direction of going more with the flow?'"

In response, Rosenberg wrote:

"I've never thought Madonna was a ‘go with the flow' person before or after recording Bedtime Story. She goes with a flow - but it's a flow of her own creation, if you know what I mean."

What a perfect description of Madonna's career: "A flow of her own creation." But with "Confessions II" and its PR rollout, we've caught a few glimpses of instances where Madonna couldn't create her own flow. Her inability to fully control her world is humanizing.

In Interview Magazine, she told Mel Ottenberg that her biopic had imploded after Universal couldn't meet her budget.

Um, excuse me? Even Madonna can't find funding?

Madonna also said, "If I go on Instagram for more than 10 minutes, I get depressed, and I don't want to go there."

Apparently, algorithms can do a number even on an ego as strong as Madonna's.

I guess some things - the economy, the tech industry, death itself - have power over all of us, Madonna included.

The lyrics of "Confessions II" return over and over again to the virtue of finding anonymity and freedom on a dance floor. The music reminds us of the darkness that lurks outside when we leave the club. Whether she got there from intellect or intuition, Madonna has captured the vibe of present-day nightlife.

Sure, it's a little rich to hear Madonna extol the virtues of privacy. I laughed out loud the first time I heard her whisper, "Sometimes I like to just hide in the shadows" at the beginning of "I Feel So Free."

But then I think of my own social media presence, currently centered on daily updates about my cats' bowel movements. Functionally, what's the difference between Madonna's publicity machine and my own addiction to sharing my private life?

I used to think of Madonna's endless reinventions as cynical cash grabs. But I've spent the last 10 years reinventing myself to make money. I've gone from making long-form documentaries to Facebook videos to Snapchats to TikToks to Instagram carousels, all in a desperate bid to make myself relevant to an ever-elusive demographic that will pay for what I do.

The market has made Madonnas of us all.

Shane O'Neill connects the dots between entertainment news, internet fads, celebrity gossip and pop culture ephemera to sketch a portrait of how we live today.