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Jewish World Review / August 20, 1998 / 28 Menachem-Av, 5758
Ben Wattenberg
First, about America. Do not bother to worry, even a little bit, about
whether America's president can "govern." This apparently concerns some
observers. They fret about whether Clinton has lost the "moral
authority" to lead the affairs of a great nation. Read the Constitution.
The president conducts foreign policy and commands the armed forces,
often on his own. He signs executive orders, with the force of law.
Second, about Clinton's address. Is he kidding? Here's what he said: I
am a liar. But trust me when I, the liar, tell you that what I said
under oath was "legally accurate," not perjury. You should not ask me
any questions about why it's legally accurate and not perjury, because
even a lying president has a right to privacy. Let's put this behind us.
I'm going to Martha's Vineyard, Russia and Ireland. Bye now.
The basis of his claim to legal accuracy appears to be that while his
Definition One parts were handled with the purpose of sexually arousing
him, he did not reciprocate by handling any of her Definition One parts.
In other words, he claims he was presented with a definition of sexual
relations that excluded the receiver of sexual gratification.
Early reports of the president's Monday grand jury testimony indicate
that he balked when pressed for details on the nature of his sexual
relationship with Lewinsky. But it was precisely the details of those
encounters that form the basis of his claim that his Jones testimony was
legally accurate. In other words, he appears to be claiming that the
same details that get him off the perjury hook in the Jones deposition
are, for the purposes of his grand jury testimony, private and injurious
to the dignity of the office. That is, he appears to have mounted a
legal defense against the perjury charge that he will not allow to be
tested.
That's called having your cake and eating it, that's called smoking your
dope and not inhaling it, that's called ducking your draft and
preserving your political viability -- that's called having your
Definition One parts pleasured and not having sex! It is like claiming
that he doesn't interpret devouring Big Macs as "eating," per se. This
may be why he has had a weight problem.
Of course, Clinton's legal exposure on perjury charges in the Paula
Jones suit goes beyond just whether he was truthful about having sex.
For example, how could his testimony that he was unsure if he had ever
been alone with Monica be true, given that he is now admitting that he
had sexual relations with her? And who would now give the benefit of the
doubt to Clinton in a swearing contest with Kathleen Willey, who charges
that he groped her in her moment of maximum vulnerability? Why should he
be given the benefit of the doubt in swearing contests with Arkansas
state troopers, sworn officers of Arkansas law, who have sworn that they
routinely solicited women for sex for him, on government time? Why
should we assume that he did not tell Monica Lewinsky or anybody else to
lie? Why should we assume we know what he means by "lie"?
And so, the sordid story is not over. Ken Starr has facts, valuable
currency not yet spent. Congress must decide to act, or not. Richard
Morris, a very loose cannon, is still rolling about the deck. Most
importantly, the voters will be heard from.
But the important thing is America, not President Clinton. The Social
Security checks will go out. The mail will be delivered, about as it has
been. The Lincoln Memorial will be open to the public, although that may
be a small tear you see on Lincoln's cheek. If we have to do something
in Kosovo or Iraq, we will. The economy will behave as it would have
without Monica. Clintonites will say it's doing wonderfully because of
Clinton. Others will note that he's done well but is riding on the
shoulders of Reagan, Bush, Paul Volcker, Alan Greenspan, the end of the
Cold War, and the animal instincts engendered by a free market economy.
The president urged us all to "turn away from the spectacle of the past
seven months" and "repair the fabric of our national discourse." Alas,
his speechlet Monday night assured that the spectacle will go on, and
the fabric remains unrepaired, for a while
Is consuming a
Big Mac eating?
LET'S MAKE TWO THINGS PERFECTLY CLEAR.
Through the use of the veto power, he owns the equivalent of 16 Senate
votes and 72 House votes. And anyway, he's been governing without much
moral authority for quite some time now, and has not done badly at all.
The president of the United States of America is president until he is
not. Respect the office.
