Jewish World Review Nov. 14, 2003 / 19 Mar-Cheshvan, 5764

Jay D. Homnick

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Consumer Reports

Mulling (And Culling) The Democratic Field | The current field of entrants in the Democratic Primary race for the Presidential nomination poses a sort of philosophical anomaly. If you are first in a group of losers, does that make you a winner? They have a wide range of styles, but they seem to be united in their attitude to George W. Bush: they are candid haters.

Since dem O'Crats tend to have many Irish in their ranks (and Jews named Kerry), we deemed it appropriate to celebrate the contenders, and the pretenders, in the limerick form. Here goes:

The Dean of the Democrat field
Has punctured the Desert Shield
He leads primarily
Will lose summarily
A big stick he does not wield.

Oh, he has nice hair but whines
Though he's wed to Mrs. Heinz
He's playing catch-up
In this tough match-up
Kerry's not up on the front lines.

For he decries TV gore and vice
But thinks that abortion is nice
He stood up to Saddam
Yet he's Hadassah's lamb
Now Lieberman will have lost twice.

Running too is old Dick Gephardt
Claims to be the workingman's pard
Down from St. Louie
With his line of hooey
He's about to fall on his canard.

A weary old warrior named Wesley
Had a build-up like Elvis Presley
Hey, my words mark
He'll be Losin' Clark
His expedition will end messily.

Not much substance, Mosely Braun
Or a Sharp dresser weighing a Ton?
I hate to be a cynic
Even about Kucinich -
A contenduh among 'em? Nary a one!

Thus the sad state of the eight suitors trying to walk down the left side of the aisle with Dem voters; these camps will be in a lot of pain. Those citizens rightly intuit that it would be a marriage of inconvenience. Sure the bride is wealthy, with the U.S. Treasury sitting on a huge dowry of taxpayer money. But she still wants to marry out of love, to be able to believe in a man with real possibilities.

A new low in partisan posturing is this business of hitting Iraq instead of speaking nicely to that subject, always a bad leadership approach. This kind of thing will prevent them from entering the Promised Land. To say in the midst of a critical battle for the future of freedom that we have Mobilized for oil, that the President was playing a Shell game with the facts, that all the money is going to Halliburton in a handbasket, is a shameful display.

Let me conclude with a profound story from my own life experience. Jewish law provides that a bridegroom is excused from public prayer for the seven-day honeymoon period following the wedding, yet one of my classmates was at the morning prayer in the Yeshiva promptly at 7:45 a.m. the morning after his marriage. The head of the Yeshiva (may he be well, still at his post now, 26 years later) asked him at the conclusion of the prayer why he had attended. He said "Joe T--- made a bet with me that I could not be here the next morning". The words of our teacher should ring in the ears of every person lured to sell out his heart for his pocketbook, his principles for his interests.

He said, "You lost."

JWR contributor Jay D. Homnick is the author of many books and essays on Jewish political and religious affairs. Comment by clicking here.


11/11/03: World Seriously crazy: Grand malay seizures and Gibson screwballs
10/28/03: Bible or Babble in Babylon?
09/05/03: Dubya's last stand?
08/26/03: They don't sue prematurely (Tales Out Of Court)
07/29/03: Equipped with a quip, he gave the Hope
07/11/03: Speaking of Euro mania
06/27/03: The Tempest (not "The Taming of the Shrew")
06/16/03: Iraq and roll
06/05/03: Is Castro convertible?
05/23/03: Taxonomy of senatorial types
04/23/03: The Nutrasweet War against the Axis of Evil: Did Rummy forget?

© 2003, Jay D. Homnick