Contact The Editor
Articles By This Author
What would you consider life's greatest pleasure?
The possibilities are endless. Obvious candidates include hedonistic indulgences like eating, sleeping, sunbathing, runner's high and sex. More ethereal pleasure-seekers might favor such refined delectations as love, family, music, art or personal achievement.
But how about something truly elemental? Can you remember the last time you had an itch you couldn't scratch? Do you recall the deep, sensual satisfaction you felt when you found someone to scratch it for you — how, in the moment, you couldn't imagine anything more pleasurable?
Scratching an itch is an imperative so vital, so existential that there is even an anatomical name relating to the inability to satisfy it. And it's this week's entry into the Ethical Lexicon:
Acnestis (ac*ne*stis/ ak-nee-stuhss) noun
The part of the back between the shoulder blades that cannot be reached to scratch.
Of course, anyone plagued by a chronically itchy acnestis can go online and buy a handy-dandy backscratcher for the price of a latte. But there are other itches less easily scratched, the kinds that disrupt the warm glow of contentment with relentless emotional irritation:
• You sign a contract for the dream job that pays a generous salary, only to discover that a former colleague or classmate is getting paid even more to do the same work at a different firm.
• You're eagerly anticipating a quiet evening at home when you find out you weren't invited to a party you didn't want to attend anyway.
• You invest in a software system that works perfectly, then learn that a new product with more features has just hit the market.
It's those relentless psychological itches that really get under our skin. They suck all the joy from the blessings we have by compelling us to fixate on what we don't have. Worse still, by distracting us from our responsibilities, they set us up for failure. Worst of all, we may find ourselves drawn toward irrational or unethical behaviors that ultimately prove self-destructive.
The solution is both simple and elusive: gratitude.
It takes effort to feel grateful. But with a modicum of mental discipline, you can transform your mindset and thereby dramatically enhance your quality of life.
• Count your blessings — literally — upon waking up, before going to sleep and while commuting. As your list grows longer and more detailed, you'll recognize more reasons to be appreciative. A feeling of contentment will follow automatically.
• Recount aloud the names of your closest friends. Focus on the loved ones whose presence in your life brings you joy.
• Be grateful for the food on your table, for a job that enables you to pay your bills — all the more so if you find fulfillment in your work.
• Take a walk in the park or the woods and revel in the beauty of nature. Contemplate the wonder of having eyes to see, ears to hear, touch and taste and scent. Not everyone has the gifts you take for granted.
• Marvel at the wonders of electricity and gas, of heating and air conditioning, of indoor plumbing and refrigeration, of cars and rapid transit that get us where we need to go — all the miracles of modern technology.
We are the most coddled generation in history; the least we can do is appreciate how good things truly are. (Gratitude also dampens the extremist political tropes of far-right and far-left.)
King Solomon observed, "No one dies with even half their desires fulfilled." His insight into human nature reveals a cruel irony: The more we have, the more we want. Which often means that the richer we are, the poorer we feel.
Only with gratitude can we successfully combat our natural human inclination to vex over the itches we will never be able to scratch. When you find yourself gazing enviously at those around you, remember that those you envy are equally envious of others. Quite possibly, they are also envious of you.
Previously:
• Why Sometimes NOT Seeing Is MORE Believing
• A Healthy Diet for the Brain Promotes Ethical Clarity for the Mind
(COMMENT, BELOW)
Rabbi Yonason Goldson graduated from the University of California at Davis with a degree in English, which he put to good use by setting off hitchhiking cross-country and backpacking across Europe. He eventually arrived in Israel where he connected with his Jewish roots and spent the next nine years studying Torah, completing his rabbinic training as part of Ohr Somayach's first ordination program. After teaching yeshiva high school for 23 years in Budapest, Hungary, Atlanta, Georgia, and St. Louis, Missouri, Rabbi Goldson established himself as a professional speaker and advisor, working with business leaders to create a company culture built on ethics and trust. He has published seven books and given two TEDx Talks, is an award-winning host of two podcasts, and writes a weekly column for Fast Company Magazine. He also serves as scholar-in-residence for congregations around the country.