Jewish World Review April 1, 2003 / 28 Adar II, 5763
Is that a poem
in your pocket?
NEW YORK As you are no doubt keenly aware, April is National Poetry Month.
To celebrate, our mayor will soon be carrying a favorite poem in his pocket.
Which poem? Which pocket? We can only conjecture. And while we're at it, we're conjecturing about everyone else's favorite ditties:
I take the subway, just like you!
Except I'm the mayor.
And a billionaire, too.
Whose woods these were, I think I know
But now they're part of Amoco.
There once was a gal named Madonna
Whom I promised to love, trust and honor
Then came "Swept Away"
And what can I say?
Now I'm feeling like Don with Ivana.
I like London, I hate France
Chirac can kiss my underpants.
One day at a time? Okey-doke:
One day Xanax, next day coke.
George Pataki took an ax,
Gave the budget 40 whacks
When New Yorkers cried, "Screw you!"
He cut the funds for pre-K, too.
I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as, well, me!
Poems are writ by dweebs like Frost
Who make in a year what my bracelet cost.
Kick my wife and curse my mom,
Win an Oscar. I'm da bomb!
One fish, two fish, I'm so Jewish.
Dark fish, light fish. Bagel, whitefish.
VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY
Roses are red, violets are blue
I'd disclose my location to someone like you.
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray you don't think I'm a creep
Just because there haps to be
A friend in feetsies next to me.
EMILY DICKINSON'S GREAT GREAT GREAT GRAND-NEPHEW
Because I could not stop for lunch,
It kindly stopped for me
Some dude gave me a coupon for
Free fries at Mickey D!
No regrets - or maybe one:
All the things I would have done.
No regrets except o
Can we talk? I'd like to but
The surgeon stretched my jawbone shut.
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JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here.
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