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Sometimes when I find myself at a loss for inspiration for a column, I read the news. This can be a dead-end because so much of the news is a downer (to use an expression from my teenage days) and some weeks I don't want to deal with unpleasantness. Politics can be a royal exercise in unpleasantness, not to mention division, and some weeks I simply don't wish to go there.
There are times when I get angry about a thing and I must get it out of my system, which means it ends up in a column. And there have been times when my emotions find their way into this space as well. Politics, movies, the arts, music, and yes, even my deepest, saddest feelings have all spilled into my columns from time to time.
This week I can't find my voice. I know what I don't want to write about, but that doesn't help me put together something for you this week that you may find interesting. Heavy topics are not where my heart is right now. To be honest with you, dear readers, my heart is still broken from the death of my sweet wife, Jane, but I've written on that in past columns and this is not the time to revisit my grief on you again.
Recently I spent an entire column on why men used to pull up their pants legs before sitting down. Believe it or not I received quite a bit of feedback on that. So this week, since I'm not feeling particularly "deep" or "political," or "angry" or smart I will be trivial. Triviality is really all I've got for you right now.
Let's go back to men's pants. I've noticed that some men who wear a jacket and tie do not wear slacks, they wear blue jeans. Why? If they say they do it because it is more comfortable than wearing a pair of slacks, they're lying. Jeans are tight fitting and no where near as comfortable as well tailored slacks. If, however, they say they do it because it happens to be the style, well, okay. At least that makes sense to me. I don't care for it, but I understand that being in style for many people is important.
The style thing is also why some men will wear a t-shirt under a jacket instead of a real shirt. Style is also why some men will wear sneakers with a suit instead of traditional leather shoes. To me it looks stupid, but to many it represents an attitude and style.
Being in style is something that I never went along with, at least not since junior high. As a teenager it was very important to be part of my peer group. I didn't want to stick out, I wanted to be accepted and treated like everyone else. In my time all the boys were dressed in Pendleton plaid shirts, white Levi's, and huarache sandals. I wore that uniform too.
I combed my hair like the other kids. I used the same vernacular, in short, I did everything to try to fit in. In the end I learned that fitting in wasn't necessarily beneficial, nor was it automatic acceptance from my peer group. I never truly did fit in. When I got a little older I realized that being different from the group was okay, as a matter of fact, it was good. I found my own individual style and it was not predicated on what others did.
To this day I wear what I enjoy wearing, and much of the time it is not what other people wear. I was lucky to have married a woman who possessed the same attitude when it came to dressing. We both enjoyed getting dressed to go out for dinner at a nice restaurant, for instance. Even when the time came that most people stopped dressing to go out to dinner, we continued to get fahpitzed (Yiddish for "getting all dolled up") when we went out.
Many say that it's a good thing to just be yourself, but I must tell you it isn't easy to walk into a restaurant in a suit and tie when all the other men are wearing jeans, sneakers, and t-shirts. Since my wife died it is even more uncomfortable. I am the lone wolf. But it makes me feel good to wear a suit and tie.
Even though I may be the only one in the place looking all fahpitzed, I know Jane is watching me and she approves of the way I look. fahpitzed I dress for myself and I dress for my wife too.
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