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Making new friends has never come easily to me. Don't let my first name fool you, I am not a gregarious guy. I am, by nature, an introvert. I'm not outgoing so that makes me, what, incoming? You might say I'm an innie not an outie. I've always been shy around strangers, especially those I don't know.
I'm not one for joining clubs or structured organizations. I feel most comfortable in small groups with people I know. One on one is even better. I'm very much aware of the old expression, "a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet." That's a lovely phrase but it's a lot of dreck (pardon my French) if you ask me. It's a lot of dreck even if you don't ask me. I could just as easily say "a stranger is just a jerk you haven't encountered yet." Or "a stranger is just a schmuck you haven't had to deal with yet." Or "a stranger is just an axe murderer that hasn't killed you yet."
I read that there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm. Old joke, but you never know, right? Running in packs of friends is not anything I ever did. My sister has a group of friends she has known for years and they get together all the time. They meet every single week for lunch at a restaurant. They see each other for every birthday and every holiday. They go on vacations together. They talk and text on the phone with each other.
Now, I'm very happy for my sister, her circle of friends is important to her and it makes her feel good. But when you're getting together so frequently, what could there be left to talk about? I know, she would probably tell me it isn't about talking, it's about being together. Actually, I think women have a different attitude towards friends. Although there are plenty of guys who enjoy hanging out in groups with other guys.
My wife wasn't that way. Jane never met with a large group of women on a regular basis. She was a lot like me in that respect. We had each other, and we were each other's best friends. Sure, we would get with other couples from time to time, but not so much. It wasn't something that we felt we needed. If it happened it happened, but if it didn't well, okay. Spending our time with each other was how we were happiest.
Now that my Jane has passed away they tell me I should meet new people, make new friends, get out more. I know they're right and I've been making an attempt to expand my circle of friends. My current circle of friends is one, so even if I make one more friend, I've doubled my circle. Not bad, eh?
But here I am, still not a joiner, still not outgoing, and still shy around strangers. Just like I was when I was young. Except, there is an advantage now. As an old guy I have nothing to prove to myself or anyone else. I possess a modicum of self-confidence that wasn't there when I was younger. It's that "I don't give a damn" quality that we geezers acquire with age.
Having someone who likes me and want to be my friend would be very nice, but it isn't a drastic need. I'm comfortable with myself and if I meet someone who is comfortable with me too, that would be great. However, because I'm old my time is short. I don't have an entire lifetime to develop and collect friendships. The long term friend ship has sailed, so to speak. Whomever I meet now is in it for the short run. To put it in motion picture terms, there's no more double features. Or even single features. Only short subjects. Maybe just a cartoon.
Which isn't bad considering cartoons were always good to me. It was how I made my living. So if I happen to make a new friend or two in the time I have left, as Porky Pig used to say, "T-t-that's All Folks!"
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