Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Disney World announced the theme park in Orlando is sold out for New Year's Eve. They added something spectacular to tonight's fireworks show. Yielding to popular demand, Disney World just moved Donald Trump's presidential robot from The Hall of Presidents to The Pirates of the Caribbean.

• New York City is preparing for the New Year's Eve party tonight in Times Square where one million celebrants will join the countdown at midnight during the Ball Drop. I have the exact same thought on every December 31st. I cannot believe it's been a year since I failed to become a better person.

• Distiller Magazine reported a study showing 54% of Americans will drink alcohol to bring in the New Year, the lowest number in 80 years. Everyone's so serious now. Last New Year's I was hired to fly back to New York City to perform at a Ball Drop celebration, and it turned out to be a Bar Mitzvah.

• The Pew Poll reveals that Americans are more sharply politically divided than at any time since the Civil War. Maybe we can come together by laying out the values we share. The most recently released photos show that the only thing Republicans and Democrats have in common is Epstein Island.

• FBI chief Kash Patel announced the agency's moving into new headquarters in DC. The FBI released a million documents about the powerful men in the pedophile sex ring in the 1990s, and from looking at the photos I have noticed one thing. That Epstein fellow was in a lot of the Clinton Files.

• The FBI charged four anti-government terrorists with plotting to blow up businesses in L.A. on New Year's Eve. It seems like this New Year, everyone here is on edge about the threat of terrorism, and I'm one of them. I would use Door Dash more often, but it's such a hassle lowering the drawbridge.

• Country Music star Billy Don Burns was hospitalized in L.A. after stabbing himself during a late-night binge on whiskey and cocaine. It gives Billy Don a career opening. If he gets well, fans will still pay $50 a ticket to hear his songs, but they'll pay $100 a ticket to hear his booze and cocaine stories.

• President Trump met with Benjamin Netanyahu Monday to plan Phase 2 of the peace deal with Hamas. The mysterious head of Hamas is known as Shadow. I read that after years of fighting, the Shadow is down to one arm, one eye and no legs, and I wonder if is this a war or a Monty Python sketch.

• Luigi Mangione's murder trial for the killing of the United HealthCare CEO is underway. It fits a popular narrative. When I first heard a CEO was shot in the back of the head on the streets of New York by a shooter named Luigi, my first thought for the victim was, this is the life we have chosen.

• The Border Patrol reports a record low number of illegals made it across in 2025. And today was a landmark day in the history of human rights as only 2 people were arrested worldwide. The first was a North Korean who failed to escape to the U.S. and the second was a Mexican who succeeded.

• California's Bullet Train intended to run from San Francisco to L.A. is stuck in the Central Valley as the costs soared from $15 billion to $135 billion. The state is desperately seeking private partnerships. If the California Bullet Train were any more of a scam, it would be financed by Somali government bonds.

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