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• King Charles delivered the Christmas Day message wishing compassion and peace to all three religious faiths descended from Abraham. I concur. It's the time of year to say Merry Christmas to Christians, Happy Hanukkah to Jews, and for the purposes of inclusion, Allah Akbar to the Terrorists.
• New York began making security preparations to host one million revelers in Times Square for the televised Ball Drop ceremony bringing in the New Year on Sunday night. I need to come up a New Year's resolution I can keep. I can't believe it's been a year since I failed to become a better person.
• A N.Y. federal judge ordered the unsealing of Jeffrey Epstein's flight lists to Pedophile Island on his airliner called the Lolita Express. It's a revelation that some Senators are trying to stifle. A lot of powerful politicians are late bloomers, and many of them didn't have a high school girlfriend until they were forty.
• Harvard President Claudine Gay prompted an uproar telling Congress that penalizing students espousing genocide depends on the context. She needs to work on her replies. Claudine Gay was informed that she's being investigated for forty cases of academic plagiarism, and she replied, copy that!
• Business Insider reported Monday that Russia and China are very close to signing a mutual defense treaty to take on the United States. The president reacted quickly to reassure Americans. President Biden stated that anybody killed during World War III will have their student loans forgiven.
• President Biden spent Christmas at Camp David last weekend but not before he scolded the press before boarding the helicopter and demanded more positive coverage about the economy. The president may not grasp what inflation is doing to shopping. It now takes two Karen's to complain to the manager.
• President Biden granted all federal employees a five percent raise Thursday even though many admit they are still working from home. I now understand why these infrastructure projects aren't getting done. Nothing slows down Build Back Better like a trip to the refrigerator every twenty minutes.
• The White House posted a video of President Biden and First Lady Jill reciting The Night before Christmas Monday. It gets even more heartwarming. You can go to the White House Gift Shop website today and order a children's book illustrated by Hunter Biden called Hookers and Blow Save Christmas.
• Iran vowed revenge against Israel Monday after an Israeli missile targeted Iran's Revolutionary Guard leader Sayyed Mousavi in Damascus while he was walking down the street. Well that's show business for you. One day you're all over the newspapers, and the next day you're all over the pavement.
• Egypt presented a peace plan Monday to try to stop the war in Gaza between Israel and Hamas which could never end. I'd suggest moving Israel to New Mexico. But I can't picture Jews all over the world raising their wine glasses during the High Holidays and toasting, Next Year in Albuquerque!
• Daily Variety reported that Chicago was named by a survey taken of beginning comedians the city offers the most number of Open Mike Night stages for them to grow and develop. Not all of these talent showcases are the same. If you get invited to attend Open Mike Night, be sure it's not an autopsy.
• Donald Trump sent millions of Christmas cards with his Georgia Fulton County Jail mug shot on them to voters. A letter was delivered Special Delivery to Trump Friday. It was a notice saying the Colorado Supreme Court just found him guilty of child neglect for not helping Kevin in Home Alone 2.
• President Biden and First Lady Jill spread holiday cheer to hospital patients at the Children's Hospital in the nation's capital Thursday. And all day Christmas Eve, Hunter Biden welcomed kids visiting the White House dressed as Frosty the Blow Man. And you thought Rudolph had a red nose.
• Hunter Biden's lawyer Abbe Lowell began preparing a defense for Hunter against proceedings in the House for Contempt of Congress. I admire Hunter Biden for his ability to hustle millions of dollars from China when he was high as a kite. Most guys on meth only get money from the Tooth Fairy.
• Fox News reports the Beatles created a painting in Japan while on their 1966 world tour that's up for auction. Their songs are always with us. My neighbor has a bad stutter, and at my residential building holiday party, by the time he finished telling us his Nana had died we were all singing Hey Jude.
• A UFO was photographed hovering over Air Force One as President Biden was arriving in Los Angeles Airport last week, before the white sphere wandered over L.A. I hope it wasn't searching for intelligent life. A voice was overheard from inside the UFO saying it's a good thing ET went home.
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