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• House Republicans are reported set to launch an impeachment probe of Joe Biden over family money received from China. Last week a full-page ad in Car and Driver magazine showed a smiling President Biden sitting inside his 1963 Corvette convertible marked For Sale. It added, car not included.
• CEO Sheryl Sandberg led the charge in the U.N. against the rapes of Israeli women committed by Hamas in the October 7th attack. Progressive women’s groups have remained inexplicably silent. Hamas is lucky they’re not a Christmas song or a Supreme Court candidate or all hell would break loose.
• George Floyd’s convicted killer Derek Chauvin was returned to prison after he was attacked by a Mexican Mafia inmate, in which a white guy who killed a black guy was stabbed twenty-two times by a Hispanic guy. How diverse. We’re just an Asian coke whore away from a Disney re-make of Scarface.
• Senator John Fetterman addressed reporters in even steady tones Monday and declared that Senator Bob Menendez’s bribery case is much more serious than George Santos’. The Democrats feel exasperated. As John Fetterman regains his post-stroke brain function, it turns out he’s a moderate.
• The UN engaged in bitter debate over the Israeli-Hamas war in Gaza Tuesday. Delegates who back Israel say they were provoked by a savage terror attack, and those backing Hamas say they resist occupation. I support Colombia because the only thing they blow holes in are Hollywood nasal passages.
• ABC News aired video of a flash mob of teenagers who ransacked a Nike store in Watts and made off with twenty thousand dollars in goods. Retailers are fighting back by glassing in products. We live in a world where the razor blade aisle at Rite Aid has better security than the Southern Border.
• Disneyland in Anaheim was hit by a moderate-sized earthquake Tuesday resulting in closure of twenty-five rides including the Matterhorn. An explanation came quickly. Disney CEO Bob Iger said the shaking and instability was just part of the park’s new attraction, the Disney Stockholder Experience.
• Florida’s Democratic Party canceled the state’s primary Monday to ease Biden’s nomination and eliminate Biden’s Democratic challenger, Minnesota U.S. Congressman Dean Phillips. He’s a highly successful businessman who has an articulate plan for the party and the nation. So he has to go.
• The New York Times reports that pro-Palestinians protestors roamed the streets of Manhattan and smashed the windows of Jewish shopkeepers and delicatessens. It really puts Democrats in an awkward position. How are they supposed to blame it on Trump when he’s not even in office yet?
• The Today Show interviewed Dick Cheney’s daughter, former Congresswoman Liz Cheney, and she warned that a Trump election would be America’s last election. In Washington D.C., she’s head cheerleader for the Neo-cons. When asked to list which countries she wouldn’t bomb, Liz was speechless.
• The Daily Mail aired video of a cabin cruiser full of illegal immigrants who landed in Malibu last week on the beach of the mansion owned by Barbra Streisand. It crowns her long career. She’s the only actress in history to win the Emmy, the Oscar, the Grammy, the Tony and twenty-five Mexicans.
• President Biden said if Trump weren’t running he’s not sure he’d be running again. The latest poll shows Trump leading Biden four criminal indictments to one impeachment inquiry into money laundering and bribery. Richard Nixon declared he was not a crook, and he wasn’t by today’s standards.
• Harvard’s president testified before Congress Tuesday to answer why the protests in Harvard Yard are allowed to display such virulent anti-Semitism like it’s a Nazi rally. Last week in Harvard, a professor asked his class if they have an answer for the Middle East. Everyone raised their right hand.
• Finland closed its borders with Russia, accusing the Kremlin of trying to destabilize Finland by flooding Finland with migrants from Central Asia and the Middle East. It’s certainly destabilized California. Here on Palm Avenue in West Hollywood, my neighbors’ nickname for me is The American.
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