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Most of us don't want to use words that hurt or demean people. At the same time, a recent Pew study found that the majority of us have no idea what someone else might conceivably find sexist or racist. The New York Times then asked 4,000 people whether they find particular words demeaning — "breastfeeding" instead of "chestfeeding" for example. The answers were all over the map.
Seems like you'd have to work pretty hard to get mad about a word like "breastfeeding."
But working hard at hurt-hunting is what the Stanford committee seems to have done. It spent 18 months to compile a list that includes obvious no-nos like "retard" alongside obscure insults, like the word "webmaster." This is supposedly a cruel expression because "Historically, masters enslaved people, didn't consider them human and didn't allow them to express free will, so this term should generally be avoided."
Who doesn't agree that it is wrong to enslave people and consider them inhuman? And yet my bet is that you could be a life-long civil rights crusader who faced down Bull Connor's personal Rottweiler as a teen and still scream for the webmaster when the ACLU computer goes down.
To beat a dead horse (warning — for real — this expression "normalizes violence against animals," even though the horse is metaphoric!) (and dead!) we have compiled some of the more obscure terms from the Stanford list as well as some we conjured up. Can you tell which is which? Answers at the end! Remember: It goes OFFENDING WORD / Inoffensive alternative / Reason why you were a jerk to even consider using it. No. 1: BASKET CASE / Nervous / Originally referred to one who has lost all four limbs and therefore needed to be carried around in a basket. No. 2: HO, HO, HO / Ha, ha, ha / Unconsciously demeans sex-trafficked individuals. No. 3: WALK-IN / Drop-in, open office / Ableist language that trivializes the experiences of people living with disabilities. No. 4: BEATS ME / I don't know / Normalizes self-assault. No. 5: GUYS / Folks, people, everyone / This term reinforces male-dominated language. No. 6: LIVELY / Fun / Shames the dead as unimportant or unenjoyable to be around. No. 7: SPIRIT ANIMAL / Favorite animal, animal I most admire or would like to be / The term refers to an animal spirit that guides/protects one on a journey, so to equate it with an animal one likes is to demean the significance of the term. No. 8: PARTY ANIMAL / Party enthusiast / Animals do not knowingly attend or throw parties. Many hide under the bed when they are going on. Term revictimizes the victim. No. 9: STRAIGHT / Heterosexual / This term implies that anyone who is not heterosexual is bent or not "normal." No. 10: EAT ME / Go away / Bite-forward language could make those lacking teeth feel othered.
No. 11: GURU / Expert, subject matter expert (SME), primary, leader, teacher, guide / In the Buddhist and Hindu traditions, the word is a sign of respect. Using it casually negates its original value. No. 12: GUMBALL / Chewable sphere / The shape and texture conjured by the word gumball celebrate male anatomy as the categorical norm, beginning in childhood. No. 13: TRIGGER WARNING / Content note / The phrase can cause stress about what's to follow. Additionally, one can never know what may or may not trigger a particular person. No. 14: F—-ING MORON / Unenlightened individual / Term implies that anyone attracted to or engaging in sexual intercourse with a moron is him/her/themself a moron. KEY: All the odd numbered words are from the Stanford list. The others? Nah.