Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

It's a Wonderful Life was the top rated Christmas movie Saturday. TCM plans to make a digitally re-made version of White Christmas for today's times. In it Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney, Danny Kaye and Vera Ellen stand in line at the airport together for hours until they get on each other's nerves.

• Fox News interviewed dozens of stranded passengers at airports all over America Tuesday whose travel plans were scuttled by airline cancellations. Yesterday, at a campus job fair at San Diego State, a graduating senior was three hours late for his job interview with Southwest. He was hired on the spot.

• NBC News reported Sam Bankman-Fried had FTX customers wire money to a fake website. He said he's down to his last $100,000, posted $250 million bail, on his parents' $4 million house, after he blew $3 billion of other people's money. If convicted, Sam could get forty-to-fifty years in Congress.

• CVS and Walgreens are limiting children's pain relievers due to a shortage, leading to online bidding at astronomical prices. Somebody has cornered the market on Children's Tylenol to force parents to turn to other pain relievers on the black market to quiet their sick kids. Well played, Cartel, well played.

• Governor Ron DeSantis backed a bill allowing Floridians to carry a gun even if they don't have a permit. The state's gun laws, meth dealers, poison spiders, cocaine kingpins, alligators, pythons and hurricanes present a warning to all tourists. Be careful in Florida, everything there is trying to kill you.

• Chevy's self-driving car avoided a San Francisco pedestrian that leaped in front of it Friday. Someday a driver will die of natural causes behind the wheel and the car will just keep going all the way to its GPS destination. It'll be a Christmas Day the kids never forget when grandma comes rolling into the driveway.

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• The New Yorker noted that President Biden is extending Trump's contentious trade policy with China in high-tech exports. Last week, Biden threatened to cut off microchip shipments to China but then President Xi threatened to cut off generic Viagra shipments to the U.S. In other words, game, set, match.

• China expressed alarm Tuesday after Taiwan announced it will further mobilize militarily against a feared attack from the mainland by ordering universal military service. I would be very careful if I were the Taiwan government. Communist China has an old saying, a dog that barks is undercooked.

• Australia shipbuilder Clive Palmer said his replica luxury liner Titanic II will sail this spring on the same ocean route as the original Titanic in 1912. Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a tragedy to all the people on board, but it was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

• GOP House Member George Santos lied on his campaign bio saying he's Jewish and claimed his grandparents fled Nazi Germany. Here comes The View. Already, Whoopi Goldberg says his fake grandparents didn't have nearly as rough a time in Nazi Germany as she would've had in Nazi Germany.

• The CIA says China is plotting to kill Americans individually through DNA stolen from the Ancestry website. My line of Hamiltons lost three civil wars fighting for King Charles I, King George III and King Cotton. My DNA shows that the only way the Chinese can kill me is through positive social change.

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