Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

The World Cup final between Argentina and France at Lusail Stadium in Qatar was seen by over a billion TV viewers Sunday. Its appeal is lost on me. Last week a sports talk radio host asked me to name three Qatar players and all I could come up with were Eric Clapton, Dave Beck and Jimi Hendrix.

• The FBI scrambled to explain Friday why 80 agents monitor and advise Twitter on what posts to censor. I just canceled my home alarm system and I put up a Trump 2024 sign on my front lawn and now FBI agents watch my house day and night. I've never felt safer and it saves me fifty bucks a month.

• President Biden told an African leaders conference Thursday he'll visit Africa next year, adding that he's not the kind of leader who comes to Africa, eats all their food, and then leaves. I so look forward to hearing everything Biden will say in Africa. Comedians are always in need of fresh material.

• Vladimir Putin was reported Sunday facing a possible coup over the Russian war in Ukraine. It's created a U.S. enemy and a U.S. dependency for the next one hundred years. If Biden had asked for my advice last year about getting involved there, I'd have told him never make snow angels in a dog park.

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• Elon Musk infuriated the press Thursday by kicking several journalists off Twitter for one week for tracking Elon's whereabouts online. He has to keep his guard up. This past week Elon Musk broke the world record by going twelve full hours without killing himself after insulting Hillary Clinton.

• The White House fired transgender DOE official Sam Brinton who is in charge of disposing of U.S. nuclear waste material. He was caught several times stealing luggage at airport carousels. He introduces himself as Sam Brinton, who's non-binary, and his personal pronouns are Samsonite/Igloo.

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