Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

USC Trojan Caleb Williams won the Heisman Trophy on Saturday at the Downtown Athletic Club, receiving the most votes of any USC winner since O.J. Simpson. USC‘s history of diversity speaks for itself. Did you know that Fred Goldman is the only Jewish guy ever to be awarded the Heisman Trophy?

• The New York Post published a news report from intercepted Russian intelligence which disclosed that Putin fell down a flight of stairs in the presidential residence last weekend, landed on his ass and soiled himself, amid increasing health woes. I can only see one flaw in this story. They misspelled Biden.

• The Russian military fired missiles into Ukraine's capital city Kiev trying to knock out the power grid last weekend. Russian militarists in the Kremlin see the war's morality differently. If you watch the movie Jaws backwards it's the heartwarming story of a shark who donates body limbs to disabled people.

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• The White House took heat for trading a Russian arms dealer for a WNBA star and BLM activist. They traded a guy who hates America for a guy who hates America. The Denver Broncos called and thanked the White House for taking them off the hook for making the Worst Trade of 2022.

• Elon Musk took a cannonade of abuse from the Democrat-Media-Hollywood cartel for opening up Twitter to free speech. Elon posted that he's worried about assassination attempts. It so happens that Hillary Clinton is now teaching an online Master Class titled How to Make It Look like an Accident.

• California Reparations Commission proposes two hundred thirty grand to slave descendants. So the state that never allowed slavery is taking money from people who never owned slaves to give to people who never were slaves. It's just another reason why the deer throw themselves in front of cars in California.

• Dr. Fauci told CNN he's open to the idea that corona virus originated in the Wuhan Lab. If Covid wasn't enough, botanists in China just announced they've created a way to make cocaine out of dried tobacco leaves. On cigarette billboards overseas, Hunter Biden is the new Man from Marlboro Country.

• China's protests prompted Apple to help China prevent free speech between protestors on their cell phones by canceling its Air Drops app. Then days later, Apple threatened to remove Twitter from the App Store for allowing free speech. Apple is so good at censorship they just gave themselves five stars.

• The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services announced Medicare Advantage enrollment starts New Year's Day and lasts through March. It's best to have it, because if you need long-term medical treatment, Medicare alone is like a hospital gown that ties in the back. You only THINK you're covered.

• The Los Angeles Times reported one hundred people moved out of California for every fifty people who moved in. Crime and taxes are up and pedophiles are being released after only a year in prison. The longer I live in California, the more I understand why the deer throw themselves in front of our cars

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