Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

President Biden took a lot of heat from Republicans Friday for refusing to go down to the Mexico border during his trip to Phoenix last week and see the cross-border invasion himself. I think it's time we replace the Border Patrol with doctors' receptionists. Let's see how many illegals get past them!

• Fox News interviewed a Chicago homeowner famous for the Christmas lights around his house who pointed out that inflation has hit Christmas lights as well. I always leave up the lights strung around my house for two months after Christmas. People driving by just think it's a Chinese restaurant.

• Las Vegas is set to host the Wrangler Nation Finals Rodeo at the Thomas and Mack Arena in two weeks. Back when I was a child on horseback in Oklahoma I fell out of the saddle and got my feet caught in the stirrups. The manager of the grocery store had to come outside and turn off the electricity.

• Taylor Swift blamed Ticketmaster for the screw-up which left twelve million of her fans unable to buy tickets for her upcoming concert tour. To keep everyone's undivided attention, she's decided to put out new versions of her old releases every few months. Taylor got the idea from the Omicron Variant.

• The White House announced Thursday the U.S. swapped imprisoned arms dealer Viktor Bout for WNBA star Brittney Griner. President Biden addressed reporters when the swap was finalized and described Boot as the Merchant of Death. Not only has Dr. Fauci retired, he has been stripped of his title.

• Russia's president Vladimir Putin returned WNBA star Brittney Griner to the United States in a prisoner swap last Thursday. Moscow police arrested her for possession of marijuana in March. It's a sign of income inequality in sports that WNBA stars don't make enough money to afford cocaine.

• NBC's Andrea Mitchell reported Russia gave Biden a choice of Brittney Griner or Paul Whelan for arms dealer Viktor Bout, and Biden took the WNBA star. The trade made no sense to basketball fans. In this era you never trade a lethal outside shooter for a player on the high post or on the post high.

• Russia acquired the world's most dangerous arms dealer from the U.S. in the swap for Brittney Griner. Putin didn't figure the cultural consequences of jailing U.S. basketball stars for smoking weed. If Russia wants to watch boring basketball just force the Harlem Globetrotters to perform straight.

• Donald Trump lost support after he demanded suspension of the Constitution and a 2020 election re-do this week after Elon Musk revealed the Twitter-FBI-DNC collusion. Now Republicans are abandoning their support. Last week, Chris Christie rolled over on Trump and that had to be crushing.

• San Francisco Mayor London Breed sent health inspectors into Twitter headquarters Wednesday after she got word Elon Musk had sleeping cots in some offices. The left is adamant that Musk is dangerous. Elon has only owned Twitter for six weeks and already it's run over a dozen pedestrians.

• Elon Musk released a second round of Twitter documents that revealed that Twitter officials kept a secret blacklist of conservatives censored from the platform. Elon is just getting started. After buying Twitter, Musk is going to buy YouTube and Facebook, combine them and form You Twit Face.

• House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff sent a letter to Elon Musk demanding that Twitter clamp down on hate speech. The often-ridiculed congressman provokes hate speech all the time. Schiff's nickname in Washington is Pencil Neck which is deeply offensive to the pencil community.

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• GOP Senate candidate Herschel Walker gave a gracious concession speech Tuesday after he lost a very close runoff election in Georgia to incumbent Democratic Senator Raphael Warnock. How close was it? If only a third of Herschel's children had voted for him, it would have gone the other way.

• The White House was confronted about President Biden's calling Georgia's voting law restrictive after a record turnout re-elected Democrat Raphael Warnock on Tuesday. It was a lot closer than expected. Due to a computer glitch in Fulton County, some of Warnock's votes were only counted once.

• Fox Business Channel interviewed economists this week who warn that falling real estate prices ensure that a recession next year is all but certain. I'd say the recession is definitely here already and there's proof. Last night in Arkansas, the guy who owns WalMart was seen shopping at WalMart.

• WalMart signaled an alarm to the retail sector Wednesday by announcing WalMart may start closing stores because they're losing so much money due to shoplifting. Has Walmart ever thought about hiring checkout staff for the front of the store? Look, they either want self-checkout or they don't.

• The Wall Street Journal warns that McDonald's raising its minimum wage to twenty-two dollars an hour will send fast menu food prices sky high. It certainly won't affect the wealthy. Last night Paul Pelosi walked into at the McDonald's in San Francisco and asked the counter person for a McWhiskey.

• Time magazine named Ukraine president Vladimir Zelensky Time Man of the Year. Ukraine has gotten $20 billion from the U.S. this year. It appears the three greatest investments were buying Bell Telephone stock in 1876, buying Apple stock in 1982 and paying Hunter Biden $80,000 a month in 2016.

• Elon Musk's Twitter release exposed a tight nexus of surveillance over conservatives by the FBI, the DNC and social media. They must keep a close eye on royalists too. Last week I ordered a one-year subscription to the New York Times and the Washington Post and my bank called to see if I lost my credit card.

• The Department of Agriculture reported that fertilizer, crop protection and labor are the three top areas in which farmers face cost increases. The president certainly hears them. It so happens on the calendar that Wednesday was National Soil Day and President Biden celebrated by soiling his pants.

• Dr. Fauci gave his farewell interviews still unwilling to say that corona virus came from the lab and not a wet market. The virus gave every government complete control over its citizens. Puffs of white smoke were just seen coming from the Wuhan Lab signaling that a new variant has been named.

• The U.S. Navy marked the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor Wednesday with ceremony. The raid triggered the war in the Pacific. After decades of experiencing Asian drivers in Los Angeles, I believe there's a possibility that the kamikaze attacks on U.S. ships were just accidents.

• The National Highway Transportation and Safety Board posted holiday driving tips that'll help keep you safe on the road this month. Some of the safety tips are obvious. There are giant highway electronic message signs along freeways leading into Los Angeles warning drivers to avoid Philadelphia.

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