• Hillary Clinton appeared on The View Wednesday to sound the alarm after a New York Times poll showed Biden slipping in California and trailing Trump in five swing states. Hillary warned that if Donald Trump is elected in 2024 it will end America as we know it today. I wish we could depend on that.
• The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce last week gathered at the foot of the famous Hollywood sign to celebrate the sign's one hundredth anniversary. This past week they've restored the face of the sign's letters, lifted the base and spackled all the cracks. It's the same work they did on Joe Biden.
• The American Heart Association reported Friday that people who use marijuana daily are 34% more likely to develop heart failure. The study found that long-term weed smoking raises the risk of heart attack or stroke. Not from smoking pot but from the Twinkies, Ho Ho's and potato chips afterwards.
• The National Retail Federation forecast a record three hundred eight billion in online shopping this holiday season. From my experience, make sure to double-check your order. Last year I went on Amazon and ordered a forty-two-inch TV and one week later a midget transvestite showed up at my door.
• President Biden officiated at a solemn ceremony on Veterans Day Saturday honoring those who have served the U.S. in uniform. He honored the dead by laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery. It was a bit embarrassing when he had to show an ID to get out.
• Ivanka Trump was raked over the coals on the witness stand Wednesday in her dad's civil fraud trial. The New York state attorney general's office had dropped Ivanka as a defendant. But they recalled she converted to Judaism so they dragged her into court and accused her of colonizing midtown Manhattan.
• The U.S. Senate hosted a hearing on the anti-Semitic violence on college campuses displaying never-before-seen-in-America rage against Jewish people. If Anne Frank were a college student today, she'd be hiding out in the student union bell tower. Poland is lucky Harvard isn't right across the border.
• Democrat Senator Joe Manchin announced he won't run for re-election in 2024. He's disliked by Republicans because they know he's a conservative but votes with the liberals, and he's disliked by Democrats because they know he's a conservative. In D.C., his face is on every gender neutral bathroom.
• Donald Trump had a huge campaign rally Wednesday before a Cuban-American stadium crowd in South Florida where Roseanne Barr opened for Trump with an expletive-filled tirade against the Deep State. Show business can be cruel. I was there in the '90s when Trump would have opened for her.
• Homeland Security chief Alejandro Mayorkas testified in the Senate and backed White House claims that illegal migrants are needed to fill unwanted jobs. I hate doing laundry, washing dishes, vacuuming, dusting and doing yard work. The only logical conclusion is that I'm descended from royalty.
• Forbes magazine named Princeton, Yale and Stanford as the three top colleges in America in its annual list of top universities. I have to admit that I really coasted through college at the University of Oklahoma back in the Seventies. I majored in Gender Studies back when there were only two of them.
• The National Institutes of Health labeled gender dysphoria a new affliction this year. It's defined as unease a person has because of a mismatch between their biological sex and their gender identity. It turns out that researchers have just discovered a cure for gender dysphoria, it's called deleting Tik Tok.
• Cosmetic Surgery website reports the top five procedures scheduled to be performed during the holidays in L.A. will be liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, breast lift and eyelid surgery. Don't forget the monthly maintenance. There's so much Botox in Beverly Hills they have atrophy wives.
• San Francisco hospitals ordered mask mandates Tuesday, blaming the onset of flu season. Some woke businesses here in West Hollywood ask customers to wear a mask, but we're sullen about wearing them. I just dumped a pack of M&Ms into my mask at Starbucks and now I'm eating them like a horse.
• Hillary Clinton appeared on The View on Wednesday where she warned that a Trump election in 2024 will end the country. However Hillary didn't do Democrats any favors when she went off and compared Trump to Hitler. That could backfire and result in a statue of Donald Trump at Harvard Yard.
• The White House announced the president would veto the bill passed by the House that provides aid for Israel but not for Ukraine. Biden wants a package deal to give aid to both countries in one bill. Ukraine's President Zelensky canceled elections Wednesday to help further the fight for democracy.
• White House advisors fanned out on cable news Wednesday and said Joe should be re-elected based on the success of Bidenomics. According to a new survey a growing number of Americans need two jobs to make ends meet. To give you an idea of how bad it is, car thieves are moonlighting as shoplifters.
• California Governor Newsom signed a food safety law banning the food coloring that's used in Skittles. Normally Governor Ron DeSantis issues a statement promising to reverse anything Gavin Newsom does. But I can't see DeSantis inviting California to come to Florida for a Taste of the Rainbow.
• Election Day results were analyzed Wednesday showing Democratic voters of Ohio turned out in favor of abortion rights and the push for legal marijuana. The same day the president's lawyer insisted he was innocent of all charges. Apparently we turned the clocks back on Saturday night to 1973.
• The White House was swarmed by angry pro-Hamas mobs Saturday waving Palestinian flags and chanting Death to the Jews. When a concerned President Biden looked outside the Oval Office window and saw the spectacle he had one question. When did the white supremacists change their flag?
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