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• Hunter Biden asked the Justice Department to investigate a former business partner claiming he lied to the FBI in 2020 about the Biden family. Happily, Hunter is in recovery now and hasn't had a drink in two years. Thank goodness Joe Biden is not an alcoholic, he'd never make it up the 12 Steps.
• The Las Vegas Raiders owner Mark Davis last week summarily fired both his head coach and his general manager as the team appears to be the worst in the NFL. If the cops pull you over for speeding in Vegas, they give you a Raiders ticket. If they catch you again they make you go to the game.
• The Miami Herald reports an anthropologist shopping in the Halloween section of a Florida thrift store discovered a human skull last week. And I thought my neighbor over did it with all the skeletons on his lawn. But then Paul McCartney took it a step further and dug up two of his band mates.
• The New York Post reports a frightening wave of anti-Semitism at college protests over Israel's invasion of Gaza. Right now I wouldn't stage the Mel Brooks comedy musical The Producers on any college campus. The kids are supposed to laugh during Springtime for Hitler, not stand and sing along.
• The White House was stormed by a million pro-Palestinian student protestors Sunday. They put a Hajib over the head of FDR's statue and then the mob defaced a statue of Lafayette. It was another case of jobs going to foreign nationals under Joe Biden that used to be done by Americans under Trump.
• The White House was hit by poll numbers revealing eligible voters feel pessimistic about their future due to inflation, crime, the border and fears for world peace. There's only one thing we all really know for certain and that is that 3027 years from now, things will be really good or really bad. It's 5050.
• Barack Obama denounced the Hamas raid on Israel and ripped Israel's occupation of Gaza, which he didn't know ended in 2005. It's safe to do jokes about him now. Obama was in Chicago where Barack picked up a shovel and broke ground for his Presidential Library, and found Hoffa's shoe.
• Obama's former Chief of Staff David Axelrod urged Joe Biden not to run in 2024 Sunday, the same day, Obama undercut Biden and expressed sympathy for the Palestinians. The former president virtually invented woke culture. Barack Obama refuses to laugh at himself because that would be racist.
• The American Ornithological Society announced it will no longer name birds after people and will change the names of eighty birds due to their name's association with racism and slavery. Do we get any points for progress? When I was a kid, Jim Crow was the state bird in fifteen Southern states.
• The Daily Mail ripped the media after FTX's Sam Bankman-Fried's conviction for assigning the tech-world super-rich with special powers of futuristic insight. When you've made it you know it. I don't mean to brag but whenever I'm placing an order at Taco Bell, I don't even look at the prices.
• The New York Times poll shows Trump leading Biden now in five battleground states with big gains in black and Hispanic votes. Democrats need to drop all charges. If Biden could win by campaigning from his basement in 2020, polls show Trump is winning in 2024 by campaigning from the witness stand.
• Pew Research released findings Monday indicating the U.S. faces a birth rate crisis because the Millennials aren't having kids. As one of the seventy-five-million-member Baby Boom generation, I simply find it hard to understand. Our problem was over-population and we did it with only two genders.
• Fox News reports six million illegals entered the U.S. in the last three years Monday. It doesn't take them long to assimilate. The day-workers who gather outside Home Depot to pick up yard work just offered to replace the striking actors for fifteen dollars an hour but they want points on the back end.
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