Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

A California task force issued a five-hundred-page report on reparations for blacks in the United States which detailed discrimination perpetrated by the state of California and recommended steps to address these wrongs. Today I totally support reparations. If you voted for Biden, you owe me gas money.

• Tom Brady and Tampa Bay beat the Seattle Seahawks in the first-ever game played in Germany Sunday. The players say they were stunned by the deafening roar of the stadium crowd there. It's why you never ask a woman her age, a man his salary or a German why his grandpa is from Argentina.

• Mel Brooks recently cited Richard Pryor for writing most of the hilariously offensive racial jokes in Blazing Saddles. Every subject was fair game for jokes in those days. After Richard caught fire while smoking cocaine in 1980 I joked that he's started a charity called the Ignited Negro College Fund.

• Arizona and Nevada mail-in votes put Democrats in charge of the Senate Monday after six days of counting. I can understand the skepticism. Week-long vote counts always look pretty suspicious when you consider that America's Got Talent can count fifty million votes during one commercial break.

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• Joe Biden staffers told reporters he will definitely run in 2024 hopefully against Trump. Pundits shake their heads at the prospect, noting that Biden will be eighty-two and Trump seventy eight. Normally, when guys this age get into a fight with each other, it's in the balcony of the Muppet Theater.

• President Biden flew to Indonesia this week to attend the annual G-20 Summit of world leaders held on the isle of Bali. On Monday the president attended a meeting for two hours with the leaders of China. And why not, Biden's been president for two years now, it's about time he met with the owners.

• CIA Director Bill Burns met with his Russian counterpart in Turkey Monday to manage the risk of nuclear confrontation over Ukraine. For nine months the West has been focused on preventing the outbreak of a World War III. Say what you will about Vladimir Putin, but he put an end to the pandemic.

• The New York Times says Facebook fired eleven thousand workers Friday as advertisers flee. The platform just threw me in FB jail a fourth time for a royalist wisecrack I posted that they deemed a threat to our democracy. How dare they tell me what I can and cannot say in a country that I colonized!

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