Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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• Closer magazine listed driving tips for seniors Friday to help seniors keep their independence on the road safely. This past weekend, I took my car in for servicing, and they installed Senior GPS. It gives me verbal directions to get to my destination, and then it tells me why I wanted to go there.

• Comedy Central ran a montage of video clips from the career of the great Rodney Dangerfield on Tuesday to mark the anniversary of his death in 2024 at the age of 82. The man had everybody laughing to the end. Thousands of mourners turned up at Rodney's funeral to pay their last no respects.

• US News and World Report ranked the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Princeton and Yale the top three U.S. universities. The protests that have descended into riots all over France illustrate the terrible state of the French education system. Some of these kids can't even speak English.

• France was the site of rioting that erupted across the country Tuesday. Hundreds of thousands of protestors stormed the streets of Paris. I'm not sure why they're all rioting, but judging by their anger and the character of the French people, you would think somebody proposed the 8-hour work day.

• President Trump defended high gas prices as the price for killing Iran's nukes in a speech and Trump jokingly suggested a nuclear-armed Iran bomb Los Angeles. Iran has already bombed L.A. Have you ever tried to book a table at the Polo Lounge during the week leading up to Persian New Year?

• Mayor Karen Bass[[unjustifiably] ripped Trump for suggesting Iran take out Los Angeles and San Diego. Of course Iran can't do that. If Iran really wanted to destroy California they'd be going door-to-door gathering signatures for a constitutional amendment allowing Gavin Newsom a third term as Governor.

• Gavin Newsom signed a new law requiring strict labeling of the potency of marijuana edibles. A young comic I know at the Comedy Store told me he gave an edible to his uncle, who later insisted he didn't feel anything. He was standing on his pool table stroking the balls into the holes with his putter.

• Norway lawmakers debated a bill to make it the first country to ban AI Smart Glasses. They record everything, will soon identify you using facial recognition technology, and be able go on your social media sites. Stalking is when 2 people go out for a walk and only one of them knows about it.

• Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed was taped saying he has dual U.S.-Egypt citizenship. In the 1970s my college girlfriend and I went to Egypt to visit the Pyramids, where a native guide offered me a camel for my girlfriend. I declined explaining that I only smoked Winstons and Marlboros.

• AOC said socialism will come to every corner of America if El-Sayed wins in Michigan. He is touchy about white people, being Egyptian American, saying if you criticize Sharia Law you are a white supremacist. If the Pyramids weren't so heavy they'd be sitting in the British Museum today.

• President Trump in Maryland Tuesday announced a defense tech firm will spend $3.7 billion to build a manufacturing plant to build submarine components at Sparrow's Point. The torpedos are made by Northrup Grumman. As an aside, I hope the Viking translation for torpedo isn't Thor the Pedo.

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