Break out cloth napkins for everyday meals. You're worth it

When it comes to creating a life that feels comfortable and lovely, it’s easy to assume that the things that will get us there are the big ones. We dream about a bigger house, or that designer sofa that looks so inviting and squishy, or a massive set of Le Creuset pans.

But I’ve found that often, the smallest details can have an outsize impact. One of the ways I’ve made my day-to-day feel luxurious is to always use cloth napkins at dinner. I don’t know exactly when my husband and I became exclusively cloth-napkin people, but it has become such a part of our routine that it doesn’t even register as a choice.

If I stop to consider, though, it feels like a statement. Pulling the napkins out of the drawer and plopping them on the table with silverware somehow subconsciously sets the tone for our meals. It says that this meal — even if it is just a quesadilla my husband threw together in 10 minutes or leftover takeout tikka masala fresh out of the microwave — is worthy of something that feels nice in your hand and looks pretty on the table.

I understand that using cloth napkins on the regular might not be for everyone, and I’m not here to tell you that you should ditch paper towels off the roll — which have become the norm for many people — or even those paper dinner napkins that wind up all balled up on the table. But I’d humbly ask you to just … consider it.

It’s not the crooked-pinky, uptight flex that you might think.

For starters, it doesn’t significantly add to your chores. We reuse napkins for a couple of days before tossing them in the washing machine. If one of us has a cold or if a napkin gets particularly dirty, they get thrown into the laundry right away. And we do make exceptions. If we’re eating something hands-on or sloppy such as ribs or corn on the cob, a roll of paper towels will do.

It’s not difficult to keep everyone’s napkins straight. After meals, my husband and I place ours back in the drawer, and mine is always on the right (which stems from a long-running joke of ours about how I’m always “right”). In more old-fashioned times, families used napkin rings with engravings to mark whose was whose. I still kick myself for not buying an object I came across years ago at a Parisian antique market: a hand-painted napkin holder with hooks labeled “Maman,” “Papa” and the names of their children.

And you definitely don’t have to iron them. I have a set of linen napkins for dinner parties that I will break out the ironing board for, but our everyday versions are fine with a little rumple.

It doesn’t have to be an expensive practice, either. You can buy a stack of cotton napkins at discount stores or online, and cycle through them. I dab a bit of dish soap on any spots that look like they might set, but a tiny stain doesn’t have to mark them for the trash, either. Perhaps they develop a little patina over the years. Don’t we all? And if they really are no longer suited for the table, you can certainly reuse them as cleaning rags.

Practicalities aside — as well as the many environmental arguments to be made for using them — allow me to make the case that cloth napkins are worth whatever minor trouble they might be. Think of them as a tiny act of resistance from the ways that dining at home has been diminished. Okay, so maybe the kids are on their phones instead of engaged in sparkling conversation or you’re actually sitting in front of the TV — but at least your napkins say that dinner is an occasion. They mean that you are worthy of something that might usually be reserved for company.

And I promise that once you start using them, after a while, it won’t even feel like an extra step. It will simply be a subtle, nearly invisible, life upgrade. Who doesn’t want that?

During the pandemic, when nearly all of our meals were at home, one of my favorite pick-me-up purchases was a new set of napkins. The mismatched Indian block prints brought a cheery flair to our days and reminded me of the giant world outside our door — which felt worth every penny of the $20 I spent on them. So while I will probably not be dropping several mortgage payments worth of bucks on new furniture, I can still make the everyday more luxurious without much effort or money. I light inexpensive tea lights in the evening. I decant the dish soap into a pretty glass pump bottle. I don’t drink from plastic bottles or cans at home.

Which might not be right for everyone. But cloth napkins? Trust me, just give it a try.

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