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• Fox News said Friday the Israeli Defense Force planned to deepen its attacks on Gaza ahead of the invasion. There were threats of terror all weekend. Hamas is currently holding three Harvard students hostage, and if they aren't paid $10 million in ransom, they threaten to release them unharmed.
• USA Today reports public frustration in growing in L.A. about the forty-six thousand homeless living on the sidewalks and having to deal with them. While driving to the grocery store yesterday, I saw two homeless people kissing each other passionately on the sidewalk. I shouted at them to get a box.
• Daily Variety reports a dozen Halloween films will hit the theaters this week aimed at terrifying young people, but also adjusting to their sensibilities. Even movie monsters want to avoid the wrath of cancel culture and to appear progressive. The Creature now swears he comes from the Green Lagoon.
• Oregon's Department of Education announced that high school proficiency in reading, writing and math is no longer a requirement for high school education. That moved me to make a silly point. Only in math problems can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.
• Daily Variety posted a letter signed by fifty Hollywood celebrities Saturday calling for a cease-fire in the Middle East. The shelling continued all weekend. Hamas did announce they are no longer throwing LGBTQ people off of tall buildings, explaining that they no longer have any tall buildings left.
• Iran threatened war if Israel invades Lebanon while Israel vowed war with Iran if Hezbollah invades. Israel is set to invade Gaza because Hamas fighters invaded Israel. Perhaps the number of these Israeli-Palestinian cross border invasions could be reduced by a strategically-placed UN pig farm.
• U.S. Rep Matt Gaetz said he has no regrets about throwing the Speakership into limbo to get rid of Kevin McCarthy. Conservatives say Kevin preaches a hard line then capitulates and approves more spending. If they ever name a building after Kevin McCarthy it's too bad there's already a Waffle House.
• President Biden attended a Democratic fundraiser Friday after returning home from the crisis in the Mideast. However the crisis turns out, it can only help Joe recover politically. Last month President Biden's poll numbers crashed so hard they made the magazine cover of Asian Car and Driver.
• The Christian Science Monitor reported Evangelicals are flocking to the Republican Party this week over its unqualified support for Israel. It comes with a price. Evangelicals fear that when the Rapture occurs and the righteous are called to Heaven, it'll leave Democrats with a permanent majority.
• Pew Research released a poll saying one-fifth of all Americans under thirty saying being rich is a top priority for them. Everyone I know has a plan and a back-up plan to become rich. Last week, when somebody else won the Powerball Lottery, millions of Americans said screw it, we're making meth.
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