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December 16th, 2025

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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published October 15, 2023

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

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NBC's Saturday Night Live marked the anniversary of the first show in 1975 hosted by Richard Pryor. The studio audience loved watching Richard, Chevy Chase, and John Belushi having a high old time together. It was the only TV studio in history where the nosebleed seats were in the Green Room.

British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak dispatched the Royal Navy to back Israel and he asked Egypt to take in Palestinian refugees. Egypt's Interior Minister asked the Biden Administration for advice on how to handle the flood of refugees. The White House advised Egypt to register them to vote.

The Daily Mail reports the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas called for a Global Day of Jihad Friday. Seven hundred celebrities signed a letter demanding Hamas release their hostages. If you think of the success they've had with the actor's strike, the captives should be home by Christmas 2039.

The Kansas City Chiefs hosted the Denver Broncos at Arrowhead Stadium Thursday night and Taylor Swift showed up to watch boyfriend Travis Kelce play. To escape the fawning TV coverage I elected to listen to the game on the radio. Twelve times during the game they cut to a Taylor Swift song.

The Fox News poll Monday revealed that Americans are most concerned about high food prices, soaring gas prices, rising crime and the U.S. border invasion. All I can say to my fellow Americans as sincerely as possible is stop complaining about your life. There are literally people living in California.

The Hollywood Reporter reported that Kevin Spacey was rushed to the hospital while attending the Uzbekistan Film Festival in Central Asia Wednesday. The celebrated actor felt chest pains and was rushed to the ER. Kevin's condition was listed as stable, but then he took a turn for the male nurse.

President Biden gave a forceful speech backing Israel Tuesday, earning bi-partisan praise. His presidential campaign remains on track. This week Biden will visit the black church he attended as a poor Latino child and raised by Cambodian lesbians in the Irish section of New York's Little Italy. The Washington Post reported that Hamas members who raided Israel last week have shed their markings and blended back into the population. I feel for the population. As an animal lover, I have no sympathy for these thirteenth-century barbarians but I did spare a moment for their Regimental Goat.

House Republicans met in conference Wednesday and voted to nominate Steve Scalise as House Speaker but he couldn't muster the majority of votes and he withdrew. Tensions are mounting in the House as stakes are high. The winner gets to sit next to Lauren Boebert on the back row of the Chamber.

Senator Robert Menendez was charged again Thursday, this time with being an agent for Egypt's regime. The feds found half a million cash and three gold bars in suit jacket pockets in Bob's closet. Shifting the blame, Menendez claimed the suit jackets are from the Donald Trump Signature Collection.

Governor Gavin Newsom announced Thursday that California will enact an Ebony Alert system that prioritizes the search for missing young black people. It's nothing new. The Ebony Alert was first successfully tested in 1994 when O.J. Simpson was clueless enough to try to hide in Orange County.

Al Jazeera reported that the threat of invasion in Gaza was resulting in a flood of Palestinian refugees trying to get into Egypt. The refugees maintain their grim sense of humor while being processed at the Egyptian border. When Palestinians apply for entry, under Occupation they put Israel.

Harvard overseers distanced the school from the thirty school groups who protested on behalf of Hamas and the Palestinians. The U.S. does all we can to keep the war from expanding. We sold a hundred anti-aircraft missiles to Israel so they can shoot down the hundred F-16s we sold Saudi Arabia.

The Daily Mail reported a scary clown has been menacing a village in Scotland. Midwest cops in the U.S. are on alert for scary clown sightings that terrified the region a few Octobers ago. White chicks in Wisconsin have been advised to chill with the make-up until this scary clown thing blows over.

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