Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

The Disney Company announced it plans to back the Florida Teachers Union teaching of sexual self identity to kids and to racially and sexually diversify Disney characters. As part of the studio's new mission for ethnic diversity Disney just created a plus-sized sister for Tinker Bell. Her name is Taco Bell.

• The Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage will be celebrating its fortieth anniversary in two weeks with a banquet at the Esmeralda Hotel. My stay in November 1986 opened my eyes for good. The greatest day of my life was the day I discovered that I don't need alcohol in order to make bad decisions.

• Barack Obama urged Democrats last week to drop the Woke agenda, stop trying to control speech on social media and stop making every issue about race. Nevertheless Netflix is reported to have just made casting changes in The Crown to make it more inclusive. Arianna Grande will play Queen Latifah.

• The Washington Post reported violence in India between Moslems and Hindus Monday while in America Kanye West is promising to go Def Con 2.0 against the Jews. It's a lucky for me that I'm Christian. It's the only religion on earth that I can make fun of without getting killed within six minutes.

• Former Chancellor of the Exchequer Rishi Sunak is the new Prime Minister in Britain. One of my fraternity brothers told me his family in London is exhausted. His daughter has lived through four chancellors, three home secretaries, three prime ministers, two monarchs and she's only four months old.

• British Tories threw out Liz Truss as prime minister and chose Rishi Sunak as prime minister weeks after they threw out Boris Johnson as prime minister. Stay with me here. The next general election in Britain is in two years, or when they run out of conservatives to be prime minister, whichever comes first.

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• The London Daily Mail reports that Rishi Sunak at age forty-two is not only England's youngest PM in 200 years, as a South Asian he's also the first PM of color. Tuesday morning Joe Biden got a call, saying it was Rishi Sunak. Joe apologized saying he doesn't know one Jewish holiday from another.

• President Biden drew praise from human rights activists for pardoning everyone in federal prison on marijuana convictions. Legalization has unforeseen consequences. Las Vegas recently passed a local ordinance legalizing pot smoking, putting an end, once and for all, to the All You Can Eat Buffet.

• President Biden issued a public warning to Vladimir Putin Tuesday not to use a nuclear bomb on Ukraine. Now Putin will be humiliated in front of his right-wing generals UNLESS he goes radioactive in Ukraine. The joke will be on Putin if the Chernobyl nuclear accident gave Ukrainians herd immunity.

• China's leading chipmaker fired its U.S. workers after Apple agreed to comply with Biden's order to stop importing memory chips from China. Biden's order showed extraordinary courage. Because for President Biden to cut off memory chips means that in just a few gigabytes he's going to be on his own.

• North Korea's Kim Jung Un caused alarm in the northwest Pacific launching his recent round of missiles tests aimed at the Sea of Japan. Everybody thinks that Kim is insane to keep firing missiles into the ocean but think about it. He could be the only one who's been holding back Godzilla for years.

• The Border Patrol reported a record number of illegals have crossed the border this year. Many of them are highly motivated people willing to work hard to achieve the American dream. I never dreamed growing up that I could someday get paid for being a functioning idiot but here I am, killing it!

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