Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Daily Variety reports two remakes of the Wizard of Oz are in production in Hollywood studios. The first is based on the 1939 movie, the other on the original book written in 1900. Today if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no heart and no courage, she wouldn't be in Oz, she'd be in Congress.

• Florida Governor Ron DeSantis infuriated the environmental wing of the Democratic Party last week when he declared he doesn't worship at the climate change altar. But when Al Gore was born in 1948, there were only seven thousand polar bears. Today only twenty-five thousand polar bears remain.

• Hurricane Ian spun to the Atlantic after devastating almost all of Florida with wind damage and flooding, but somehow it missed hitting Palm Beach. The AP released a photo of Mar-a-Lago showing it was untouched by the hurricane. Angry Democrats sent Ian a four-word text saying, you had ONE job.

• The White House was talked out of increasing U.S. oil production by environmentalists on Biden's staff Thursday. The environmental movement began with Earth Day when I was in college. Back then we weren't out to kill Big Oil, we just wanted to Save the Planet because it's the only place you can get beer.

• The Washington Post initially reported Thursday that Kamala Harris's limousine was involved in a car crash on the way to work. However it turns out the vehicle only hit a curb and quickly corrected course. It was probably a drill for the 2024 Democratic Convention when the party kicks her to the curb.

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• Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are reported planning to divorce over his decision to keep playing football. The German supermodel doesn't understand this country. I remember once when a Texas supermodel was shot in the leg for walking in front of the TV during the Dallas Cowboys game.

• Saudi Arabia cut oil production to punish the White House's anti-Saudi policy and aid Russian oil revenues. McDonald's pulled out of Russia, followed by Coke and Pizza Hut, now Russian oil revenues are sky high. U.S. policy won't rest till the Russians are the healthiest and wealthiest people in the world.

• Buckingham Palace announced King Charles will not attend the Cairo Climate Conference after consultations with the prime minister. It was also announced Charles will receive his crown next year. You know people are slow coming back to work when even the King can't get a dental appointment.

• President Biden flew to Florida to witness the Hurricane Ian flood destruction Wednesday and got caught joking over a hot mic using earthy language with a local official. In the clean version of his comment the president said nobody screws with a Biden. However a dozen Asian hookers would disagree.

• Governor Ron DeSantis lashed out at illegal aliens shown looting stores in hurricane-struck cities Tuesday and demanded they sent back to their home countries. It may not be their fault. If they've been watching cable news the last two years, they probably think that looting is legal in the United States.

• Pentagon spokesman Admiral John Kirby hedged slightly Wednesday when asked if the U.S. blew up Russia's gas pipeline in Europe, and not Putin as the U.S. alleges. I think I've figured out the truth. Putin blew up his own revenue producing pipeline to Europe so he could win the day on TikTok.

• Vladimir Putin was reported Tuesday being pressured by Russian generals to drop tactical nuclear weapons on Ukraine to end the war. Not in the least bit disturbed, Ukraine put in a bid to host the World Cup in 2030. It's expected that by next week they will be joined by Yugoslavia and Czechoslovakia.

• The National Retailers Association says Americans will spend eleven billion dollars on Halloween for candies, decorations, cards and costumes. It dates back to the old English celebration of All Hallowed Saints Eve. This is the time of year when I pretend the five pounds of candy I'm buying is for Trick or Treaters.

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