Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

The Atlanta Braves visited the White House Monday to celebrate the World Series win. They gave Biden a Braves jersey with his name on it to recognize his bravery for continuing to get back on the bicycle despite his lack of motor skills. President Biden congratulated them on winning the Stanley Cup.

• Nancy Pelosi caused a stir Friday saying Florida should keep the illegal immigrants because they need these people to pick their crops. She could have picked a better husband herself. Every time her husband Paul asks the Google Maps girl for directions she says in four hundred feet stop and let her out.

• The Biden Administration backed the new California edict that bans the sale of gasoline-powered cars by the year 2035. The alternatives are still shaky. The good news is, the engineers at General Motors just invented a car that runs on water, the bad news is it only runs on water from Camp LeJeune.

• Florida Governor Ron DeSantis held a press conference Thursday and he thanked all the states that flew rescue teams and power restoration workers to Florida in the wake of Hurricane Ian. It was reported that they're completely without electricity at Daytona Beach. Gentlemen, start your Teslas.

• Politico reported the political reactions to Hurricane Ian noting Republicans played up Governor DeSantis' crisis leadership as Democrats blamed the damage on climate change while Biden wants England to pay for the clean-up since the hurricane is named Ian. The only name more British is Nigel.

• Wall Street entered bear territory as the Dow Jones plunged under the thirty thousand level amid fears of recession. It's caused some consolidation. QVC purchased the Home Shopping Network for two billion dollars, OR just one hundred million easy payments of nineteen dollars and ninety-five cents.

• President Biden addressed the Conference on Hunger, Nutrition and Health that was held in the White House Thursday. He told the crowd how his father always addressed him as Joey and told him he must always be a Roosevelt Democrat. Then Joe asked Mr. Roosevelt to stand up and take a bow.

• President Biden speaking to a White House conference Monday called out for praise Democratic Congresswoman Jackie Walorski and looked around the room to recognize her. She has been dead for over a month. Biden was saluting her for efforts to get out the vote in Chicago at the grassroots level.

• President Biden told Sir Elton John he's why the U.S. spends seven billion a month on AIDS then said hi from the podium to a dead congresswoman. Kamala praised our long alliance with North Korea. There wouldn't be any supermarket shortages right now if we ate our vegetables instead of electing them.

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• Kamala Harris outdid her boss in the gaffe department on the border of South and North Korea Thursday. She praised what she called the special and historic alliance between the United States and North Korea. This administration hasn't lost all their marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag.

• Russia's president Vladimir Putin went on television Wednesday to call up three hundred thousand military reservists. He accused the United States of attacking Russia, and he ordered Russia's nuclear forces on alert. Vladimir Putin is a constant reminder that clowns are not funny after midnight.

• The Masked Singer returned for its eighth edition on Fox Network hosted by Nick Cannon. Nick just announced the birth of his tenth child on Friday, just one week after welcoming his ninth, and a third girlfriend is pregnant with number eleven. By law, Nick Cannon can now be drafted by the NBA.

• Twitter's lawsuit against Elon Musk for backing out of his takeover bid goes to trial next week. It is all about social media's attempt to stifle dissent. Today, Jesus would say to his followers, you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free, except on Facebook, where it'll get you thirty days in jail.

• Men's Health magazine published a regimen of diet and daily exercises and cardio workouts for Baby Boomer men to help us stay in peak shape and live longer as well. I must be getting stronger as I age. I can now carry three hundred dollars worth of groceries from my car to the kitchen in just one trip.

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